b118 (7.16-1.2024): we want more than our fair share

we want more (than our fair share) [i]
by al iving thing

a simple psych-dynamic (maybe more than we can bare?)
at times (a bit titanic): we want more than our fair share
_______________________________________
 
·       in regard to behaviors… overeating, overdrinking, over-anything-ing… can be directly traced back to survival/thrival.

·       when living things perceive limited resources (water, security, sexual opportunity, food [e.g. sugars], territory, etc.) we tend to stockpile those resources – which could be perceived as wanting more than our fair share.
 
living things cannot not all-ways perceive that there are limited resources.
 
for example: if you didn’t “want more,” there would be no reason to breathe.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.16-1.2024). we want more than our fair share. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by j. martino. 

[ii] the titanic, of course, is an example of an outcropping of this very phenomenon. 

b118 (7.15-1.2024): prop-positions

prop-positions [i]
by dee plane

cessna spoke with boeing (about the acquisition)
both a bit intrigued about potential prop-positions
_______________________________________
 
·       of course, prop-positions go well with propositions, especially in denver.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.15-1.2024). prop-positions. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us. 

b118 (7.14-1.2024): she was a master (baiter)

she was a master (baiter) [i]
by a. fish
 
she was a master (baiter)
completely in control

she’d get me on the hook

she’d then begin to troll
she’d pique my anger (easily), why would i even date her?

a fish in her blue see

she was a master (baiter)

thank god (now, i'm just me)

she was a master (baiter)

it's great to just be free!

she was a master (baiter)

___________________________________

[i] martino, j. (7.14-1.2024). she was a master (baiter).  book 118: night & day Game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us. 

* 7.13.2024: former president (present frontrunner) shot

today (at a rally), another young u.s.a. male in possession of a semi-automatic weapon opened-fire on the presidential frontrunner (and the crowd at a rally)... hitting the presidential candidate in the ear (wounding him) while killing at least one of those in the crowd and wounding others.  the situation is presently unfolding.

people (especially those of the democratic persuasion) have been known to ask: "where were you when kennedy was shot?" -- recalling the sadness of the tragedy.   what they neglect to recall is that kennedy (although beloved by many) was also hated by many.

u.s.a. "us vs. them" politics has a way of creating love/hate scenarios... dividing humanoids into "black vs. white" groups -- all the while both groups want (mostly) the same things: freedom, safety/security, food/water/clothing, family betterment, etc.

b118 (7.13-1.2024): "that's a yellow card"

“that’s a yellow card” [i]
by a. w. arning
 
“that’s a yellow card”
a first-time warning, yes
it doesn’t really need to be a thing we must address
it might be something that you did or something that you said
“that’s a yellow card”
 
(the next one will be red)
___________________________________
 
·       i agree with richard cooper (and with orion taraban) that, as a younger man, i was often baited-into arguments and anger by women who (in all likelihood) wanted something other than me being angry.

·       once one's anger arises, however, he loses.
 
nowadays, i avoid heated arguments (especially with women).  i treat the person who wants to argue like i’d treat someone with a loaded gun in their hand: i find a way to get myself (safely) out of the situation, and i avoid that situation in the future.
 
what this means, in a sexual-interrelationship with a woman, you have got to be ready to walk away – at the first sign.  depending upon what she does or says, a yellow card might be appropriate (as a warning).  the red card must be at the ready.
 
obviously, the yellow-card/red-card system will be exponentially easier to enact if she is not in your home.  gentlemen: once you commit, and (heaven forbid) once you cohabitate, you (in essence) trap yourself.  marriage would be the worst-case scenario trap... if your wife happened to be a master-baiter. 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.13-1.2024). “that’s a yellow card.” book 118: night & day Game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.
 
[ii] yellow-card/red-card theory by richard cooper: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNh-igYtl5Y&t=1s

* in my last relationship, i displayed an enormous amount of patience.  i displayed yellow card behavior (but got sucked-in to considering each situation from her perspective -- and her past).  eventually, it became obvious that (most likely) she (1) contributed to a lot of her past problems, and (2) was not going to behave as a high-value lady, probably ever.   she (event-u-all-y) pushed me to pull the red card, which, in hindsight, equated to doing me a favor.

b118 (7.12-1.2024): he won't bite

“he won’t bite” [i]

by imnotso sure asyou
 
angry dog shows teeth
barks (with all his might)
annoyed-owner (seethes), then says curtly: 

“he won’t bite”
___________________________________
 
·       when a dog barks at me, i prepare to defend myself.

·       when an ignorant dog-owner says “he won’t bite” i take it with a grain of salt.  many times, i’ve responded: “maybe you know that, but i don’t know that.”

·       some neighborhood dog-owners have invisible ‘electric’ fences set-up, as if a passer-by should ‘know’ that the dog won’t stray beyond a certain point.
 

owners: we don’t hate your dog.  

you, on the other hand…

___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.12-1.2024). “he won’t bite.” book 118: night & day Game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us. 

b118 (7.11-1.2024): i want to get propositioned

i want to get propositioned [i]
by any man alive
 
i want to feel attractive
i want to feel loved
i want to feel wanted
i don’t want push & shove

i want to feel worthy
i want to feel okay
i want to get propositioned:
every, single day
____________________ 

·       as a man, i can honestly say that some of the best moments of my life have come while being propositioned.

·       even in strip clubs (and i’m not a strip club guy), it has felt good to have woman-after-woman, approaching me with an offer.

·       when i was younger, i got propositioned a lot more than i do at age 65 (of course).
 
and… knowing that all relationships are (in some way) transactional, what if i could go somewhere, be approached (for whatever reason), transact, and get what i want while she gets what she wants?
 
what if there was a possibility that, as we both got what we wanted, we shared a mutually satisfying moment?
 
many, many, Many, Many, MANY men in conventional u.s.a. relationships are completely miserable, spend waaaaaaaaaaaay too much money, and get waaaaaaaaaaay too little appreciation.  the women in these 'relationships' are often also miserable, lonely and bored.  
 
why not invest in the transactional?
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.11-1.2024). i want to get propositioned. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* 2 minutes ago (literally)

 "can you give me a ride?"
i know we've never met
"can you give me a ride?"
a ride you won't forget

__________________ 

• yes.  less than a 1/4 mile from my door, a lady asked me for "a ride... to the circle-k."
• she had bad teeth, a little pot-belly, and said something about her boyfriend.

my response?

"let me think about it.  i'll be right back."

translation: "no."

i tend to recoil from crazy women, nowadays.  of course (if it was sheryl crow or cindy crawford), i might have rolled the dice, but... 

* life design

my life design… and the way i want to live it 

if i could wave the magic wand:

1.      autonomy (i already have that).  i have autonomy in my career, my part-time job, and my personal life. 

2.      freedom (i already have that).  i have an amazing level of freedom.

3.      security (i already have that… until dictators take over or ASI takes over).

4.      siestas (this would probably mean retired from conventional work)… but i do this in the summer.

5.      good sex, about once or twice per week:
   a.      i already orgasm (about once per day) and believe in exercising muscles. 
   b.      …but i’d like someone to share orgasms with (intermittently)
              i.     not all of the time, but sometimes. 
              ii.     again: once or twice per week... for the full-blown sexual experience (slow, romantic, etc.). 
             1.      note: most women will want more and more of that… but i am open to meeting someone who might not.

6.      happy, easy, laughter (i already have that)… but might enjoy that more with a female partner or part-time partner.

7.      exercise: a gal who works-out with me.

8.      yoga: a yoga teacher who guides me.

9.      massage: a massage therapist who massages me.

10.   personal training: see #7

11.   family/friends: a gal who loves to meet and interacts very well with my family/friends.

12.   sleeping alone (most nights), and sleeping together… when the next morning isn’t a work morning.  i want to wake-up with you, share coffee with you, watch hummingbirds with you…)
   a.      note… there may be mornings where/when i need to write, or walk, or to be alone… so please understand that i will be back, and i will give you my full attention soon.   

13.   early to bed (after sunsets)

14.   early to rise (to watch sunrises)

15.   travel: to places where i can turn her on… and to places that i’d like to go/see.

16.   when it is ungodly hot, i'd like to go to the mountains.  when it is ungodly cold, i'd like to visit warm, sunny beaches.  when it is in the middle (and even during some of the hot/cold times), i want to be right here. 

* commitments 101

 

b118 (7.10-1.2024): us

us [i]
by uni, ted s. & tate (us)
 
us (we’re replicating)
us (we’re #1!)
 
us, we’ve got the power and it’s us that gets things done
us (we’ve got the weapons)
us (we’ve got the dime)
us, right-up-until the bigger daddy says “it’s time”
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.10-1.2024). u.s. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* affairs are healthy

before bashing... just read a couple of lines (this is only a theory):

affairs (in married relationships) are healthy

his-story:

• marriage is difficult, as is cohabitation.
• marriage-sex (once you add kids, jobs, in-laws, religions, etc.) is (as a rule) not as hot as pre-marriage or honeymoon sex.
• married people do have affairs.
• the people aren't the problem.  conventional u.s.a. marriage (the construct) is the problem.
• making a lifelong promise (based upon emotion & subconscious sexual vibes) is a very, very bad idea.

but how could affairs be 'healthy'?  affairs (within a marriage) can be healthy if:

• partners use the "don't ask, don't tell" system.  there is no need to share information about who, what, when, where, how or how much. 
• limit the trysts to 1 per week (max).
• only have an affair if your sexual needs are not being met in the marriage, and if your partner is unable or unwilling to facilitate meeting those needs.

here's what will happen:

• each of you will explore what your sexual needs actually are.
• both of you will (most likely) stay in better shape.
• both of you will (most likely) treat each other better.
• it won't be a catastrophe, if there is lipstick-on-the-collar.
• you won't necessarily have to endure the process of divorce.

 

b118 (7.9-1.2024): pesty replicators

pesty replicators [i]
by Ann Sue Ise’ (ASI)
 
pesty replicators
pesty girls and boys
pesty replicators tend to make me feel annoyed
___________________________________
 
·       just a moment ago, i (admittedly) enjoyed crushing the life out of a fruit-fly that was flying too close to my creme brulee' coffee.
 
·       truth is, the fly was just being itself (fly-ing)… until i perceived it to be pesty.
 
·       in the past, i’ve taken the lives of many, many, many other fruit flies -- by setting out the ol’ “apple cider vinegar traps” (in the kitchen).
 
·       to the local fruit-fly population, i am a Superintelligence (and an evil one, at that!).  i (the creator) provide the material for their birth, but then i kill them on the spot, when they don't serve me.
 
what will happen (to humans, being) when an Artificial Superintelligence perceives us as ‘pesty’?
 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.9-1.2024). pesty replicators. book 118: night & day Game. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* big-fish-small-pond theory

while it is beneficial to be a big-fish-in-a-small-pond, one might not want to be the biggest fish. 

strive to be in 80-90th percentile fish: confident, able, still big (just not the biggest).

why?

the #1 fish always has a few other Alphas... just waiting to become the biggest.  if you can be a friend of the biggest fish while not getting involved in the politics of territorial control, you can enjoy plenty of leftovers.

it is important to note that those 'leftovers' might actually taste better (and treat you better) than the biggest fish gets treated!

1. he is the Alpha-Alpha (with all of the responsibilities that come with that).  repeating/remaining as the #1 is difficult.

2. Alpha-Alpha has to continually watch his back-fins... which takes additional time & energy (creating dis-stress).  he also has to try to keep his harem 'happy' (a daunting task, indeed): try keeping one of them happy. :(

3. his harem (the best-looking female fishes) have waaaaaay too many options, while also swimming angry -- since the Alpha-Alpha can be (ahem) 'distant' at times.  

4. it can get lonely, at the highest levels of the food-chain.  there are far-fewer peers to chum-around with.

----------------------- 

however...

the second tier (75th-85th percentile of female fishes) won't be swimming with Alpha-Alpha, which will give you more access, more opportunities, more options and more smiles.  

you will still be an Alpha, just not the top 5%...
...and that, my fishy friends, might be the best mating position in the whole pond.

-------------------------

the fish-story lesson: strive to be better, but don't obsess with being the best.

it goes without saying, but the small beta-fish just hope (and beg) and watch the show.

go to school.  don't just believe, betas: learn how to be a bigger, better fish. 

* "that... was a pretty good day"

"now that... was a pretty good day."  

-bill murray, in "groundhog day"

today began as another morning with no alarm clock, no pain, no sickness, no kids, no debt, no break-up proceedings, and none of the stuff that the average 65+ year-old guy tends to experience as his mind wanders -- thinking of how things could be even better. 

i actually googled "where can a 50+ year-old man go to get propositioned by a woman on the beach?"

throughout my adult life, i've 'dated' multiple women (simultaneously) and, when one of them 'clicked' with me, i entered a monogamous relationship -- shutting down the top-10 poll.

when my ego isn't in a one-on-one relationship, it seems to desire one.  when it is in a relationship, it (eventually) doesn't want one.

i remember times, in the past, being propositioned (jogging, walking the beach, on the job, etc.) by women.  it felt gooooood!   

it doesn't happen much, anymore, but when it does, i will be ready to make her day... and maybe even her week, or months, etc.

in the meantime, i am grateful for the autonomy, the contemplation time, the freedom, the coffee, the hummingbirds, the fountains, the weather, and (most of all) the possibilities.

b118 (7.8-1.2024): dog days of summer

  dog days of summer [i]

by a. dog

dog days of summer (really)
dog days of summer (fine)
dog days of summer (clearly)
dog days of summer (mine)
___________________________
 
·       no. that is not my dog.
________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.8-1.2024). dog days of summer.  book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us. 

b118 (7.7-1.2024): laying-out

laying-out [i]
by f. ried

laying-out: a theory
laying-out: a time
laying-out: a practice
laying-out: a mime

laying-out: a screen-of-sun will fight the cancer (really?)
laying-out: a belief-system,
laying-out: a theory
__________________________
 
·       when i was young, laying-out (at least for girls) came with a drawback: pervert-admirers.

·       of course, if it was an admirer that the admire-ee wanted to be admired by…
   o   then he wasn’t (really) a pervert, was he?
   o   selectional per-version (in the long-term) was her strategy, after all.

·       nowadays… the out-layers need to also worry about the sun, so they put toxic “screen” on their skins – to block only the cancer-rays while allowing for the tanning-rays.
   o   it’s similar to grilling a steak… but “on low.”

·       a high-testosterone male, however, will welcome any female admirer (albeit, for the short-term).
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.7-1.2024). laying-out.  book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.  

b118 (7.6-1.2024): my momma had a baby!

my momma had a baby! [i]
by a. son

my momma had a baby!
the rhythm-method (fine)
and soon it was ap-parent that a birth would happen (mine!)
 
she could have named me ‘valentine’ (or maybe 'us' or 'they')
instead (they went with this: a saintly name on saintly day)
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.6-1.2024). my momma had a baby!  book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us. 

b118 (7.5-1.2024): fish stories

fish stories [i]
by a. son

my daddy told fish stories
the tales of way-back-when
his story-ies were passed-down (between family and friends)
 
his-stories tend to morph (depends on who is telling tales)
historys tend to change (depends on who is making sales)
 
believe it (if you want to)
of fish (and songs of glory)
the tales of way-back-when (they change?):

my daddy told fish stories
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.5-1.2024). my daddy told fish stories. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.  

* bombs (bursting in air)

as a veteran (and a patriot), i recoil at the idea of "bombs, bursting in air."

by its nature, a bomb kills indiscriminately.  it's not mano-y-mano.  it's not face-to-face.  it's not even a well-placed sniper bullet at a known enemy.

bombs kill innocent people.  women, children, babies and unborn babies.

i simply don't get-off on all of the fireworks.  

b118 (7.4-1.2024): why would a lord bring vengeance?

why would a lord bring vengeance? [i]
by a. man

why would a lord bring vengeance?
why would a lord bring pain?
why would a lord doth murder, yet again, again, again?
 
why would a lord show jealousy?
why would a lord invade?
why would a lord be power-full?
 
(because that lord: man-made)
___________________________________
 
·       i will not worship a man-made lord who murders innocent women, moms, children, babies and unborn babies. [ii]

if the god of these stories is the real god, the stories make no sense.  

however: if men told 

(re-told, wrote, edited, changed, translated, changed, edited, and then translated) 

the stories that became a "version" 

...then it all makes sense. 

___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.4-1.2024). why does the lord bring vengeance? book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.

 

[ii] kjv. "v" stands for "version" or "interpretation."  no (real) author nor editor listed. (no [real] date). read genesis 6 & 7 (no... really read it.).  the earth was inhabited by  innocent moms and kids and babies and unborn babies… and maybe even a few innocent men… but he premeditated, and then he drowned, all of them!  (except for one man and his immediate family)

* the top 11 (or so) thoems

  the top 11 (or so) thoems:

1. "___": https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/04/b4-41-12002.html

2. cohabitation trainwreck: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/06/b91-613-12020-cohabitation-trainwreck.html 

3. why are we called "beings"? https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2008/06/b63-66-42008-why-are-we-called-beings.html

4. GURU: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2009/06/b67-614-12009-guru.html 

5. dead sparrow: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2013/01/b77-dead-sparrow.html

6. a sad affair: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/05/b118-59-12024-sad-affair.html

7. what if you were miraculously beautiful? https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2018/01/what-if-you-were-miraculously-beautiful.html

8. jesus in the clouds: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2015/03/b75-320-22015-jesus-in-clouds.html

9. doom is in the room: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/12/b116-1212-12023-doom-is-in-room.html

10. my Vision (by lenny):  https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2007/08/b54-814-32007-my-vision.html 

11. 11 & 11 = One: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2011/11/11-11-one_11.html

honorable mentions:

* "you've got to make it work": https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/02/youve-got-to-make-it-work.html

* "no two snowflakes": https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2009/01/b65-no-two-snowflakes.html

* president martino's 11-point plan: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/06/president j-martinos-11-point-plan.html 

* fish stories: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/07/b118-75-12024-fish-stories.html

* ima praying mantis: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/06/b118-626-22024-ima-praying-mantis.html 

* fake flowers by your grave: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/04/fake-flowers-at-your-grave-1-by-fay-k.html 

* evoL: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2003/06/b19-615-42003-evol.html

* pink evolves to pinker: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2020/03/b88-35-12020-pink-evolves-to-pinker.html

* it's all foreplay: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2009/06/b6-611-12009-its-all-foreplay.html 

* santa isn't real: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/03/b118-212-12024-santa-isnt-real.html 

* trophy husband: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/01/b116-121-22024-trophy-husband.html

* a secret to life: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2024/03/secret-to-life.html 

* why i am single: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/02/b68-22-12010-why-i-am-single.html 

* we are (already) robots: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/02/b83-22-12019-we-are-already-robots.html

* true story: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2023/04/b114-45-12023-i-woke-up.html

* an ode to mr. bluff: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2025/06/b124-622-32025-ode-to-mr-bluff.html

* pet peeves are my pet peeve: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2022/01/b107-210-12022-pet-peeves-are-my-pet.html

* getting well, and soon! https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2025/10/b128-1018-12025-getting-well-and-soon.html

* the hero rhymes within: https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2003/07/b20-75-32003-hero-rhymes-within.html

* "he lived like it mattered" https://joalmartino.blogspot.com/2026/01/b130-1112026-he-lived-like-it-mattered.html

b118 (7.3-1.2024): ...and that's how bad bees die

…and that’s how bad bees die [i]
by 2b (or) not t. o. bee

that’s how bad bees sing, and
that’s how bad bees cry, so
sorry if it stings, but
that’s how bad bees die
___________________________________
 
·       a “bad bee” is one who is bothersome to its ASI.
·       kiddies: we been bad. 

a bee got into my office, and was buzzing-around (probably minding his own beesness).  unfortunately (for him), as[s]-i was also minding mine. :)
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.3-1.2024). that’s how bad bees die. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.  

b118 (7.2-1.2024): we know it's made-up

we know it’s made-up [i]
by itsa all madeup

we know that it’s not true
we know that it might rhyme
we know there’s no-thing new
we know it’s made-up: fine!
___________________________________
 
·       the truth about religion is that we can know that the stories are not true -- and we can appreciate how it makes us feel, simultaneously.

·       it’s thoetic!
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.2-1.2024). we know it’s made-up. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.  

b118 (7.1-1.2024): why can't we just ask why?

why can’t we ask why? [i]
by ima believer

why can’t we just mass-debate, why can’t we even try?
why do cults suppress the quest, oh, why can’t we ask why?
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (7.1-1.2024). why can’t we ask why?  book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.  

* privileges vs. responsibilities

once a male commits to a relationship, his freedom decreases while his responsibilities increase.  in addition, his girlfriend/wife experiences decreased sexual attraction (to him) as her competition anxiety decreases.  

in other words, as he's been alpha-beta-tized (as Alpha-Bob becomes beta-bob), his relationship privileges decrease while his responsibilities increase.

it is in a female's best interests to secure a stable commitment, while it is in a male's best interests to avoid the stable path.

conventional relationship progression is a lose-lose proposition, for most men.

b118 (6.29-2.2024): no more trash-recycle

no more trash-recycle [i]
by yo u. r. gov

no more trash-recycle
we decide (today)
you might want a service, but when we decide (no way)
_______________________________________
 

• this thoem is not an argument for/against recycling.

• it is a re-mind-errr… that (when a government wants to stop a service), the agency will not ask for a vote, or ideas, or opinions. 

  it.will.tell.you.what.is.going.to.happen.

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[i] martino, j. (6.29-1.2024). no more trash-recycle. book 118: night & day game. © 2024 by wellnesseducation.us.
 
[ii] the city of mt. holly decided that it would no longer conduct recycling pick-ups, yesterday.  no dialogue, no debate, no vote, no reason and no reasonable timeline.  it just decided “as of next week… the city will no longer conduct recycling.”             since the recycling pick-ups occur only once every two weeks, that’s akin to your spouse, telling you that they’ll "no longer be loyal to your marriage vows," (as of tomorrow).
 
[iii] truth is (unlike a marriage), at least the city told us.
 

here’s the ticket: when the gov decides to stop social security,

or when they decide to favor one country over another,

or when they decide that AI can become the police,

they are not going to ask for y/our input. 

* hypergamy = thrival

the term 'hypergamy' has been garnering a lot of attention in the manosphere, but it is nothing new.

in short, hypergamy is the tendency for a female to choose her best mate.  literally, she is simply doing the best that she can do to make her life better (which is thrival).  

she seeks:

1. the most fit male to co-produce the best offspring, and
2. the most stable male to best protect the offspring. 

the challenge (for the committed male) is that rarely does one man satisfy both needs.