* privileges vs. responsibilities

once a male commits to a relationship, his freedom decreases while his responsibilities increase.  in addition, his girlfriend/wife experiences decreased sexual attraction (to him) as her competition anxiety decreases.  

in other words, as he's been alpha-beta-tized (as Alpha-Bob becomes beta-bob), his relationship privileges decrease while his responsibilities increase.

it is in a female's best interests to secure a stable commitment, while it is in a male's best interests to avoid the stable path.

conventional relationship progression is a lose-lose proposition, for most men.

* hypergamy = thrival

the term 'hypergamy' has been garnering a lot of attention in the manosphere, but it is nothing new.

in short, hypergamy is the tendency for a female to choose her best mate.  literally, she is simply doing the best that she can do to make her life better (which is thrival).  

she seeks:

1. the most fit male to co-produce the best offspring, and
2. the most stable male to best protect the offspring. 

the challenge (for the committed male) is that rarely does one man satisfy both needs.  

* hypergamy doesn't care

of course, one would need to be relatively unplugged to get what rollo tomassi is saying on page 192 of his e-book "the rational male", but it is (surely) one of the (many, many) highlights of his book.

to quote just one of the many, many oh-so-true statements:

"Hypergamy doesn't care about the words you said at your wedding." 

b116 (12.13-1.2023): relationships 101

relationships 101 [i]
by francine acts
  
let’s do this together
sure (it will be fun)
maybe we can tether
 
relationships 101
_________________________________________
 
·       when relationship “experts” talk about relationships, they often assume erroneously.  one major error is to assume that the ultimate relationship-goal is marriage.

·       when i talk about relationships, i assume that the man or woman wants to be happy.

·       in a survival-thrival world, here’s what that means:
   o   her happiness adds to her story (herstory) when she is more secure.  her security, however, can be bipolar:
          1.     part of her wants the best Alpha seed (usually a bad-boy Alpha who can get his share of women), and (simultaneously)…
          2.     part of her wants the best provider (usually a well-behaved beta).
          3.     if she gets #1, she tries to turn him into a #2.  when she gets #2, she still wants to mate with #1.

   o   his happiness (his-story) is that he wants to spread his seed, far and wide, with the best and hottest babes (hb). 
          1.     he gets tricked-into “settling” for his “one” (by the bait of easier, more available mating/sex), but then realizes that (with her competition anxiety gone) she isn’t into the passionate type of sex that she courted him with.  (note that courted should probably be spelled caught-ed. 😊)
          2.     he ends-up miserable, as society’s laws promote and protect the bait-and-switch, and there is nothing he can do about it (without increased short-term and long-term misery).
          3.     worse yet (if he’s been tricked-into kid responsibilities), he is done. 
 
one of the best possible courses of action (for her) is a bipolar marriage arrangement, with a beta provider and an Alpha mate (or two). 
 
marriage (commitment, cohabitation), of course, is the worst possible option for his-story, unless he were to somehow marry-up… with the option of multiple hot girlfriends on the side.
 
while neither of the above courses of action are (overtly) accepted in society, hers is accepted universally (aka: “my needs weren’t getting met by my beta”).  society’s story is that he, if he is anything less than the loyal, providing, plow-horse dad… he fails.
 
men: don’t commit to a life of misery.  

ladies: use what you’ve got (ahem) to get him to commit to a life of misery.
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[i] martino, j. (12.13-1.2023). relationships 101. book 116: love reigns. © 2023 by joal martino.