b132 (5.17-1.2026): seeking mayfly love

seeking mayfly love [i]
by a. male mayfly
 

alternative title: 1,440 years!

 
i was born a mayfly so i lived the mayfly life
forever seeking mayfly love (and maybe mayfly wife!)

seeking love at mayfly-high, then mayfly college games
seeking love in mayfly job and mayfly marriage (tamed)
seeking love while raising kids (with mayfly soccer moms)
seeking love while passion waned and mayfly marriage bombed
seeking love in post-divorce at post divorcee pool
seeking love while getting old (still trying to look cool)
seeking love (like groundhog day) i find myself in tears
seeking love (this move-ie lasts another thousand years!)
seeking love (i wonder how much longer i’ll pretend)

i fly toward y/our windshield, now, my final act:

-the end

________________________________
 
·       humans think that i’m living the dream: a whole lifetime of mayfly love!

·       the truth of my nightmare is the 1,440 year turmoil: hopelessly romantic, unsatisfied ego, diminishing value, and being outflown by younger (more powerful) mayflies.

·       event-u-ally, death-highway’s windshield provides more of a relief than an ending. 

post-humus re-velation: i'm grateful for every, single phase. i'd do-Be-do it again.
___________________
martino, j. (5.17-1.2026). seeking mayfly love. book 132: who are wIe, as men? © 2026 by wellnesseducation.us

*the mayfly lives for 1 (human) day, or 1,440 human minutes (each of which [might] seem like forever... to the mayfly). 

b126 (7.6-1.2025): are [most] women crazy?

are (most) women crazy?
by c. razed
 
are (most) women crazy?

could it be man-or-pause?

could it be (future, hazy)?

are (most) men the cause?

____________________
 
·        i’d say that (most) women are crazy, and that (most) men are the cause.
 
but… relation-ships are not (yet) a lost cause.
____________________
martino, j. (7.6-1.2025). are (most) women crazy? book 126: dreaming the dream. © 2025 by wellnesseducation.us

* privileges vs. responsibilities

once a male commits to a relationship, his freedom decreases while his responsibilities increase.  in addition, his girlfriend/wife experiences decreased sexual attraction (to him) as her competition anxiety decreases.  

in other words, as he's been alpha-beta-tized (as Alpha-Bob becomes beta-bob), his relationship privileges decrease while his responsibilities increase.

it is in a female's best interests to secure a stable commitment, while it is in a male's best interests to avoid the stable path.

conventional relationship progression is a lose-lose proposition, for most men.

* hypergamy = thrival

the term 'hypergamy' has been garnering a lot of attention in the manosphere, but it is nothing new.

in short, hypergamy is the tendency for a female to choose her best mate.  literally, she is simply doing the best that she can do to make her life better (which is thrival).  

she seeks:

1. the most fit male to co-produce the best offspring, and
2. the most stable male to best protect the offspring. 

the challenge (for the committed male) is that rarely does one man satisfy both needs.  

b116 (12.13-1.2023): relationships 101

relationships 101 [i]
by francine acts
  
let’s do this together
sure (it will be fun)
maybe we can tether
 
relationships 101
_________________________________________
 
·       when relationship “experts” talk about relationships, they often assume erroneously.  one major error is to assume that the ultimate relationship-goal is marriage.

·       when i talk about relationships, i assume that the man or woman wants to be happy.

·       in a survival-thrival world, here’s what that means:
   o   her happiness adds to her story (herstory) when she is more secure.  her security, however, can be bipolar:
          1.     part of her wants the best Alpha seed (usually a bad-boy Alpha who can get his share of women), and (simultaneously)…
          2.     part of her wants the best provider (usually a well-behaved beta).
          3.     if she gets #1, she tries to turn him into a #2.  when she gets #2, she still wants to mate with #1.

   o   his happiness (his-story) is that he wants to spread his seed, far and wide, with the best and hottest babes (hb). 
          1.     he gets tricked-into “settling” for his “one” (by the bait of easier, more available mating/sex), but then realizes that (with her competition anxiety gone) she isn’t into the passionate type of sex that she courted him with.  (note that courted should probably be spelled caught-ed. 😊)
          2.     he ends-up miserable, as society’s laws promote and protect the bait-and-switch, and there is nothing he can do about it (without increased short-term and long-term misery).
          3.     worse yet (if he’s been tricked-into kid responsibilities), he is done. 
 
one of the best possible courses of action (for her) is a bipolar marriage arrangement, with a beta provider and an Alpha mate (or two). 
 
marriage (commitment, cohabitation), of course, is the worst possible option for his-story, unless he were to somehow marry-up… with the option of multiple hot girlfriends on the side.
 
while neither of the above courses of action are (overtly) accepted in society, hers is accepted universally (aka: “my needs weren’t getting met by my beta”).  society’s story is that he, if he is anything less than the loyal, providing, plow-horse dad… he fails.
 
men: don’t commit to a life of misery.  

ladies: use what you’ve got (ahem) to get him to commit to a life of misery.
 ___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (12.13-1.2023). relationships 101. book 116: love reigns. © 2023 by joal martino. 

b113 (2.17-1.2023): something isn't right

something isn’t right [i]
by way off

alternative title: relationship aikido

something isn’t right
something isn’t right
something isn’t right
something isn’t right
 
something isn’t right if something keeps you up at night
if something isn’t ease-y…
something isn’t right
______________________________
 
·        in relationships, people miss the obvious: if something doesn’t feel right, something is wrong.
 
trust your intuition.  ask questions.  analyze, without judgment.  see the situation through others’ glasses.  put yourself in someone else’s shoes.  
 
…and then… if something still doesn’t feel right… avoid.  put time/space in-between you and that which doesn’t feel right.
_______________________________
[i] martino, j. (2.17-1.2023). something isn’t right. book 113: close shave. © 2023 by joal martino. 

b113 (2.10-1.2023): bouquet

 
bouquet [i]
by rose a. rose 

alternative title: red flags

see beyond the roses
seize the coming day
sea (the waves of future/past)
“c” (a red bouquet)

______________________________
 
·        there may be times when the red flags are right there, in front of our eyes.

on valentines day, bring your "a" game.  

_______________________________
[i] martino, j. (2.10-1.2023). red bouquet of flags. book 113: close shave. © 2023 by joal martino.
 
·        as valentines-proposals might go either way… on y/our conception day.

* my drawing is a rendition of a hilarious graphic, from the web.

a more realistic version might be...

* "you've got to make it work"

as a part-time bartender and a part-time human, i get to engage-in and listen-to conversations by people... and about relationships.

in the u.s.a., many have this unreasonable notion that it takes effort to "make a relationship work."

most can't even define what "working" means... but they will be more than ready to share their insights in a new york-relationship minute.  

since i'm not from this planet, i'm amazed to learn that the average american believes that, for a relationship to "work"...

• it must last "forever" (even though none do), or
• it must at least last a lifetime (which very, very few do), and
• it must be between a monogamous couple (when almost none are), or at least
• it must be "monogamy right now" (which is quite loosely defined), and 
• it takes work to make it work.

i'll have none of that kind of nonsense.  i believe that relationships cannot not work, and here's why:

1. you live, you relate, you learn. 
2. even if the nature of the relationship changes, you have memories.
3. relationships provide an opportunity for growth.
4. if, for a moment, "happily ever after" can give way to the truth (which is right now), then people might see that one can't have a long-est term relationship without its multitude of short-term mo[m]e-nts!
5. the moment is Now.  the truth is in the Now.  the reality is in the Now.
6. most importantly, the future is pre-paved and created ...Now.

naturally, when people label how a relationship must be (for it to "work"), they can gossip about how others' relationships didn't.  even those who married & lived together & died around the same time as each other experienced relationship turmoil at some point or another. 

can we, for just a moment, 
admit that our unrealistic expectations (of "the relationship") 
suck the life and energy and love out of it?

lifelong friendships are different, for some reason.  when the expectations are lessened, we can really love another and want our beloved to experience his/her best life (whether it is with us, or not).

friendships aren't as possessive as u.s.a. "relationships."  friendships don't have to "work" -- because friends don't need a contract, or a vow, a ring, or a lawyer or a minister or a government to tell them what they have to do -- to be friends.

friends, after All, just IS.

:)  

b107 (2.8-1.2022) selfish expectations

selfish expectations [1]
by x. p. ectations

alternative title: beginning of the end

selfish expectations
of family and friends
hot and cold relations
beginning of the end
_________________________________________
 
·        self-less expectations are when we expect/hope/support others in bettering themselves and their life experience.

·        self-ish expectations come in two varieties:

o   expecting something from yourself, for yourself (which is both natural and good), and

o   expecting something for yourself, from someone else (which is often the beginning of the end of a healthy relationship).

__________________________________
[1] martino, j. (2.8-1.22). selfish expectations. book 107: “make it white.” © 2022 by joal martino.