* "you've got to make it work"

as a part-time bartender and a part-time human, i get to engage-in and listen-to conversations by people... and about relationships.

in the u.s.a., many have this unreasonable notion that it takes effort to "make a relationship work."

most can't even define what "working" means... but they will be more than ready to share their insights in a new york-relationship minute.  

since i'm not from this planet, i'm amazed to learn that the average american believes that, for a relationship to "work"...

• it must last "forever" (even though none do), or
• it must at least last a lifetime (which very, very few do), and
• it must be between a monogamous couple (when almost none are), or at least
• it must be "monogamy right now" (which is quite loosely defined), and 
• it takes work to make it work.

i'll have none of that kind of nonsense.  i believe that relationships cannot not work, and here's why:

1. you live, you relate, you learn. 
2. even if the nature of the relationship changes, you have memories.
3. relationships provide an opportunity for growth.
4. if, for a moment, "happily ever after" can give way to the truth (which is right now), then people might see that one can't have a long-est term relationship without its multitude of short-term mo[m]e-nts!
5. the moment is Now.  the truth is in the Now.  the reality is in the Now.
6. most importantly, the future is pre-paved and created ...Now.

naturally, when people label how a relationship must be (for it to "work"), they can gossip about how others' relationships didn't.  even those who married & lived together & died around the same time as each other experienced relationship turmoil at some point or another. 

can we, for just a moment, 
admit that our unrealistic expectations (of "the relationship") 
suck the life and energy and love out of it?

lifelong friendships are different, for some reason.  when the expectations are lessened, we can really love another and want our beloved to experience his/her best life (whether it is with us, or not).

friendships aren't as possessive as u.s.a. "relationships."  friendships don't have to "work" -- because friends don't need a contract, or a vow, a ring, or a lawyer or a minister or a government to tell them what they have to do -- to be friends.

friends, after All, just IS.

:)