* don't ask, don't tell, and don't...

 ...get caught.

in the past, i've advocated that conventional marriage would work better if affairs were allowed, but you still could enjoy the taboo aspect.

open marriages wouldn't work in this case (since the taboo aspect) would be negated.

what would work, actually, is the exact marriage system that we have now: a system that hints... don't give reason for them to ask... don't tell, and don't get caught.