b123 (3.25-1.2025): how to not get arrested...

how to not get arrested (as a boat captain) [i]
by captain joal    
 
oh, so you’re the captain
here’s something to note
do not get arrested
on your f---ing boat*
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below are the top 10 rules to not get arrested… if you are the captain/driver of a boat.  the first way isn’t even a way, but a smart policy if you are operating a motor vehicle of any kind: know the cops, and make sure that they like you.  in the final analysis, always be good and nice to those who might ever have power over you in a ‘situation’.  it’s not even a rule, so much as it is an Is.
 
outside of that, here’s the top 10:
 
1.     don’t do stupid shit.
2.     don’t allow anyone else on your boat to do stupid shit.
3.     be aware that even though you’ve accomplished #s 1 & 2, there are other people on other boats who will do stupid shit.  avoid them.
 

yes, dumbass, i know that that is only 3 rules, not 10.

 
·       don’t do stupid shit.
   a.     don’t drink.  if you drink so much as a drop of alcohol, you’re suspect.
   b.     think about it: when you see a captain do something stupid with his boat, you (even though you aren’t a cop) suspect that the captain has been drinking.

·       don’t allow anyone else on your boat to do stupid shit.
   a.     conduct a pre-sail briefing, and scare the passengers to death.
   b.     think about it: when you see someone doing something stupid on a boat, you (even though you aren’t a cop) you suspect that the idiot has been drinking.
   c.      don’t allow assholes on to your boat:
                  i.     anyone that is loud, argumentative, egotistic, annoying, etc., etc.
               1.     anyone with a big ego or high testosterone… (besides you, of course). 😊
               2.     basically… men.
                 ii.     only allow sweet, feminine, light-drinkers on your boat.
               1.     the hotter they are, the better (or worse) the situation will be.

               2.     don't invite women with copious amounts of ‘enhancements’ or tatoos, or attitudes -- and/or social media accounts.
               3.     if one of your friends invites her friend (tiffany, a redhead, hairdresser...), just buckle-up.

·       be aware that even though you’ve accomplished #s 1 & 2, there are other people on other boats who will do stupid shit.  avoid them.
 
that’s it.  that is the top 10.  if you need more, don’t boat.
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[i] martino, j. (3.25.-1.2025). how to not get arrested…  book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

* in fact, do the smart thing, and don’t buy a-hole-in-the-water-that-you-constantly-throw-money-into.  go out on other people’s boats (opb) and then be the captain -- when he gets drunk.