marriage [i]
by ioutta b. committed
the reasons for marriage are many, and many of those reasons
are flawed.
1. love
a.
love
is possible (even more likely) without marriage.
2. companionship
a.
companionship
(usually in the form of cohabitation) is possible without marriage.
b.
the
person with fewer assets will benefit more from cohabitation.
c.
the
person with less physical security will benefit more from cohabitation.
3. economics
a.
the
person with less a$$ets will benefit more from legal union.
b.
there
may actually be economic benefits to divorce.
4. children
a.
it
is believed that children are better-off when raised in a stable family with
two, married adult parents.
b.
children
will (usually) have the same last names as their parents.
5. the party
a.
the
wedding ceremony is a chance to show-off that one actually has successfully
gotten someone else to make a lifelong promise.
b.
friends
& family unite… or at least come together in celebration.
6. ownership
a.
often
a subliminal reason for marriage.
b.
the
idea that one person can possess another’s love, intentions, and even thoughts.
7. promise of forever
a.
a
leap of faith often made without really thinking the process through.
8. sex
a.
more,
better sex was (maybe) a reason (for some, in the past).
b.
the
truth is that the best sex is probably experienced outside of marriage (for
most).
c.
sex
often wanes with familiarity, life-proximity, stress, responsibilities,
children, etc.
9. fidelity
a.
even
though this is implied (overtly & covertly), many break this overt/covert
promise physically, mentally and emotionally.
10. security
a.
ask
everyone who has ever gotten married if marriage made them feel more secure.
b.
ask
the 50% who divorced, the 25% who are miserable, and the large percentage who
cheat.
reasons to avoid marriage:
1. divorce
a.
in truth, many (women) benefit from divorce law.
b.
many,
many a man has “lost half of his s---” via divorce.
2. relationship hell
a.
relationships
often devolve. especially those that are
built on promises made due to passion, needs, and insecurities.
3. love
a.
most
people can’t even define love, let alone depend upon it.
b.
romantic
love (often) wanes.
c.
broken
love is one of the most hurtful things that one will experience.
4. companionship
a.
marriage
is more like bondage than companionship.
b.
if
you have to be a companion (because of a law or promise), it often feels more
like a forced-togetherness… which is a recipe for relationship hell.
5. economics
a.
most
men lose resources in relationships, and especially in marriage.
6. children
a.
children
are a huge undertaking.
b.
children
are a huge responsibility.
c.
children
are a huge financial burden.
d.
children
are a huge heartbreak.
e.
children
are a huge stressor.
f.
while
(good) children can be one of life’s greatest experiences, one bad child can be
one of life’s worst nighmares.
g.
even
if children are “good kids,” there are numerous reasons why life is easier
without children.
7. the party
a.
a
waste of $$$.
b.
could
be done much more economically, without marriage.
c.
a
huge stressor.
d.
usually
all about the female-energy.
8. ownership
a.
the
unspoken side-effect of legally sanctioned vague & unrealistic promises.
9. promise of forever
a.
most
can’t even promise tomorrow.
10. loss of freedom
a.
the
elimination of options (mostly for the man) for the person who is most likely
to value options.
11. responsibilities
a.
marriage
invites an unending, relentless supply of responsibilities.
12. end of competition
a.
another
fake benefit (for the man) that actually results in less respect, less passion, and less sex.
13. sexlessness
a.
the
very antithesis of why most men marry.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (5.1-1.2025). marriage. book
123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.
In the future, the #1 reason to marry just might be "insurance".
ReplyDelete