b123 (5.1-1.2025): marriage

marriage [i]

by ioutta b. committed    

 

the reasons for marriage are many, and many of those reasons are flawed.

 

1.     love

  a.     love is possible (even more likely) without marriage.

2.     companionship

  a.     companionship (usually in the form of cohabitation) is possible without marriage.

  b.     the person with fewer assets will benefit more from cohabitation.

  c.      the person with less physical security will benefit more from cohabitation.

3.     economics

  a.     the person with less a$$ets will benefit more from legal union.

  b.     there may actually be economic benefits to divorce.

4.     children

  a.     it is believed that children are better-off when raised in a stable family with two, married adult parents.

  b.     children will (usually) have the same last names as their parents.

5.     the party

  a.     the wedding ceremony is a chance to show-off that one actually has successfully gotten someone else to make a lifelong promise.

  b.     friends & family unite… or at least come together in celebration.

6.     ownership

  a.     often a subliminal reason for marriage. 

  b.     the idea that one person can possess another’s love, intentions, and even thoughts.

7.     promise of forever

  a.     a leap of faith often made without really thinking the process through.

8.     sex

  a.     more, better sex was (maybe) a reason (for some, in the past).

  b.     the truth is that the best sex is probably experienced outside of marriage (for most).

  c.      sex often wanes with familiarity, life-proximity, stress, responsibilities, children, etc.

9.     fidelity

  a.     even though this is implied (overtly & covertly), many break this overt/covert promise physically, mentally and emotionally.

10.  security

  a.     ask everyone who has ever gotten married if marriage made them feel more secure.

  b.     ask the 50% who divorced, the 25% who are miserable, and the large percentage who cheat.

 

 

reasons to avoid marriage:

 

1.     divorce

  a.     in truth, many (women) benefit from divorce law.

  b.     many, many a man has “lost half of his s---” via divorce.

2.     relationship hell

  a.     relationships often devolve.  especially those that are built on promises made due to passion, needs, and insecurities.

3.     love

  a.     most people can’t even define love, let alone depend upon it.

  b.     romantic love (often) wanes.

  c.      broken love is one of the most hurtful things that one will experience.

4.     companionship

  a.     marriage is more like bondage than companionship.

  b.     if you have to be a companion (because of a law or promise), it often feels more like a forced-togetherness… which is a recipe for relationship hell.

5.     economics

  a.     most men lose resources in relationships, and especially in marriage.

6.     children

  a.     children are a huge undertaking.

  b.     children are a huge responsibility.

  c.      children are a huge financial burden.

  d.     children are a huge heartbreak.

  e.     children are a huge stressor.

  f.       while (good) children can be one of life’s greatest experiences, one bad child can be one of life’s worst nighmares.

  g.     even if children are “good kids,” there are numerous reasons why life is easier without children.

7.     the party

  a.     a waste of $$$.

  b.     could be done much more economically, without marriage.

  c.      a huge stressor.

  d.     usually all about the female-energy.

8.     ownership

  a.     the unspoken side-effect of legally sanctioned vague & unrealistic promises.

9.     promise of forever

  a.     most can’t even promise tomorrow.

10.  loss of freedom

  a.     the elimination of options (mostly for the man) for the person who is most likely to value options.

11.  responsibilities

  a.     marriage invites an unending, relentless supply of responsibilities.

12.  end of competition

  a.     another fake benefit (for the man) that actually results in less respect, less passion, and less sex.

13.  sexlessness

  a.     the very antithesis of why most men marry.

___________________________________

[i] martino, j. (5.1-1.2025). marriage. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

b123 (4.30-1.2025): i don't care...

i don’t care to be first-tier [i]

by seco n. d. tier    
 
Beta-plus-plus (happy)
Beta-plus-plus (ease)
Beta-plus-plus (single)
Beta-plus-plus (please!)
Beta-plus-plus isn’t biggest fish in the small pond
Beta-plus-plus (happy)
 
yes, it’s time to spawn
______________
 
 
·       Alpha is the king.  he is the leader.  as the “biggest fish in the pond” he attracts the 9s-10s, but:
  o   Alpha has the leadership responsibilities, leading to less fun.
  o   Alpha has Alpha-minuses, waiting to take his spot.
    §  the Alpha-minuses are sooooo focused on usurping the Alpha -- that they are often no fun at all.
  o   the 9s-10s (supermodel-level) are (often) the highest maintenance.
    §  the 9s-10s also set the social tone for other 9s-10s.
    §  some of Alpha’s harem want a more fun fish and will often swim on over to one with fewer ‘responsibilities’.

·       notice the second-tier B++ (who is not seeking to be king):
  o   he still has a harem (of 5-8s… who are much, much more fun than the 9s-10s).
    §  since he has a harem, others will want to be a part of that harem.
  o   he has little responsibility and flies under the radar.
  o   he lives a very, very, very, VERY happy life, growing old gracefully  & smiling (at ease).
 
in the final analysis, Alphas (and the 9s & 10s) are going to hit their walls.  if they haven’t cultivated personality, they (in the pack) will be left behind, unwanted and growing-old unhappily.
 
B++ will have made many happy, will have avoided empty-commitments, will have experienced less stress, and will have had options... for life.  at a minimum, he will be happy -- be-ing himself.
 
i don’t care to be first-tier.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.30-1.2025). i don’t care to be first-tier. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

b123 (4.29-2.2025): downward-facing dog

      downward dog [i]
by a. yogi & n. ott  
 
as if, at once, i was one:
a whirlpool in the fog
a graveyard-spiral (plus 1)
a yogic, downward, dog
________________________________
 
·       born a male/dog, i howled.

·       i learned the love languages, the active listening, the “what a girl wants,” etc.

·       time after time, the downward spiral of a relationship pointed to the fact that i was a dog, and not as yogic as i’d tried to be.

·       is it possible that we (both men and women) are all… just downward facing dogs?
___________________________________ 
[i] martino, j. (4.29-1.2025). downward dog. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

      * a "graveyard spiral" is a tragic attempt (by a pilot who is lost in his own clouds) to correct (while over-correcting).  no visual, dependence upon human proprioception, and a failure to pay attention to the instruments.

b123 (4.28-1.2025): when anger rules the day

when anger rules the day [i]
by ima angry
 
when anger rules the day
there is no end in sight
there is no come what may
when anger rules the night
 
when anger rules, it just refuels (reciprocal/repay)
when anger rules the night, alright:
when anger rules the day
________________________________
 
·       why do i get so angry? 

·       is my anger stronger than most other humans?

·       is my love deeper than other humans?  why do i care so much?
 
one thing is for certain: unleashing anger will invite reciprocation, which will be a bad thing.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.28-1.2025). when anger rules the day. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* i'm glad...

 ...that i don't know the names of the latest celebrities, that i don't know the newest shows, and that i don't have a clue as to what is going-on (in the media).

it's been over 30 years (without tv), and i simply don't care to know what everybody else knows.

i don't even care. 

b123 (4.27-1.2025): why [why should i care]?

 
why (why should i care)? [i]
by ima n. o. caring
 
why?  why should i care?
about the time, or day
about the rhythm, rhyme
about the act (or Play)
about the next event
about the truth (or dare)
about the word: prevent
why?  why should i care?
________________________________
 
·       when there is nothing you can do about the inevitable, why care?

·       when the universe is created in your mine[d], however, caring paves the way for future experiences.

·       caring matters.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.27-1.2025). why (why should i care)? book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

* shift

 so... for the better part of my life, i've believed that the ultimate high was to be with a woman.  what i'm re-cognizing, Now, is that the Ultimate -- is to be with myself (writing, contemplating, Be-ing). 

b123 (4.26-1.2025): gonna die: two hours

 
gonna die (2 hours) [i]
by ima gonna die
 
gonna die (2 hours)
not a lot to say
wish i had more time to be with you, right here, today
________________________________ 
 
·       when you are about to die, the only thing you will want is to be with what/whom you love, Now.

·       the question (prior to that moment) becomes:
  o   what do i love, Now?
  o   who do i love, Now?
  o   how can i give something that might be remembered… Now?  
___________________________________

        [i] martino, j. (4.26-1.2025). who do i Love, Now?. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

        *inspired by a star trek episode that pondered what you might do, if you only had two hours to live.

b123 (4.25-1.2025): let's get the hell out of here

 
let’s get the hell out of here [i]
by james t. kirk
 
let’s get on out of here
i had to leave my love
 
let’s get on out of here
our mission, from above
 
let’s get on out of here
my deepest, darkest fear
 
i only want to stay
let’s get on out of here
________________________________
 
·       there will come a time, maybe tomorrow, maybe soon, when you will not want anything more than to stay.

·       …yet (simultaneously) you will know that you must leave.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.25-1.2025). let’s  get the hell out of here. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

        

        * inspired by a line by james t. kirk, after having-to let his love get killed (in order to save the future).

b123 (4.24-1.2025): okay: i cook with wine

 
okay: i cook with wine [i]
by i. cookwith wine
 
okay, sometimes i drink it
okay, the feeling (fine)
okay, let us conceive it
okay, i cook with wine
________________________________
 
·       because cooking, of course, comes with the main course. 😊
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.24-1.2025). okay, i cook with wine. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

b123 (4.23-1.2025): low-hanging fruit

40s-2-60s [i]
by low hanging fruit
 
low-hanging fruit
easy-2-defile
seen some better days
been around (awhile)
if there was a better choice the point would be point-mute
 
already defiled
low-hanging fruit
________________________________
 
the truth is, low-hanging males tend toward low-hanging females who tend to view themselves as the top of the barrel.
 
water (eventually) seeks and finds it’s own level, but (if you aren’t in a 30s-2-60s group), you are limiting yourself.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.23-1.2025). low-hanging fruit. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

b123 (4.22-1.2025): apocalyptic

apocalyptic [i]
by s. low & a. p. ocalypse
 
there’ll be no place to go
there’ll be no-thing to say
there’ll be no sudden savior
there’ll be no plan or play
there’ll be no time to fix this
(a reason for a rhyme)
there’ll be (apocalyptic)
just kiss your ass goodbye
________________________________
 
·       as we enter the middle phase of the slowapocalypse, a reflection:
 
when it happens (for you) it might be global… or it might be persona (e.g. stage 4).  the only thing that will matter is your (numbered) hours, and who you (really) love.
 
we might as well make the most of it, now.
 
-the (literal) end.
 
an old army helicopter pilot saying used to be: 

”when you are about to crash, don’t kiss your ass goodbye. 

unzip your flight-suit, sit on the cyclic, 

and let the investigation officer try to figure it out.”

___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.22-1.2025). apocalyptic. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

* the end of the world doesn't necessarily happen in an instant.  it can, but it is more likely that it will be a process.

b123 (4.21-1.2025): opportunidad

oportunidad [i]
by level play ingfield
 
you want options, she’s got options
friend (it’s not that hard)
back away and cultivate:

oportunidad
________________________________
 
·       happiness comes down to this:
 

options, and

the time to exercise those options.

 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.21-1.2025). opportunidad. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* https://definicion.de/oportunidad/#google_vignette

* okay, i have girlfriends

no apologies.

i have girlfriends, and i hope that they have boyfriends!

nobody can take care of another's every need, and very, very few people can live together in love. my quest is to love those who i love.  that's it.

it doesn't matter if you are a friend, a family member, a lover, or a one-night under the covers.  i want to express love, and i am happy (in turn) when it is expressed back.

i encourage my girlfriends to explore their options and to live their best life.  no guilt trips.  no ownerships.  no conventional u.s.a. relationships.

baby, i am like your best friend (who just happens to be physically attracted to you).  i want you to have your best life, and i am grateful to have melded with you, during our journey.

:)

* i want to rock...

 ...like this (when i hit my 70s): 

b123 (4.18-1.2025): when dreams come (ARE) true

 

when dreams come are true [i]
by drea m. baby
 
when dreams are true (in-Joy-ment)
when dreams are true (it’s fun!)
when dreams are true (it’s any-thing!)
when dreams are true (we, One)
________________________________
 
dreams are better in the phase prior to ‘coming’ true.  it’s the anticipation, the contrast of maybe/maybe not.  

  since actually attaining the dream is anti-climactic, consider delay-ing the ultimate climax.  this is the process of Be-ing present with the future.
   keep open the possibilities.  cultivate the maybes.  live the dream before it is time to wake-up in the experience. 
   then, when the dream does come true…  don’t project.  don’t think.  don’t anticipate.  Be present, and Be the present.  wallow in the sea of joy.  let it embrace you, surround you, enter you… and support you.
 

allow the dream to Be you. 

___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.18-1.2025). when dreams come are true. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

-artwork by the world-re-Now-ned artist dustin robertson.  i named the piece "the dream" but he may have another name, idea, title, impression, or inclination.

-below is another one of robertson's master-pieces, which i call "space-ship of Love."  it adorns my living room art gallery.  next to it is my own interpretation of "a trace of Heaven."

* a confident man...

 "a confident man ...doesn't care." 

-casey zandler

b123 (4.17-1.2025): gratitude and dreams

 
gratitude and dreams [i]
by dream baby dream    
 
gratitude and dreams
walk for those who can’t
write because you want to
stop because you can’t (ever not express)
 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.17-1.2025). gratitude and dreams. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

b123 (4.16-1.2025): maybe THIS is happy

 
maybe this is happy [i]
by ima happy

    
maybe this is happy
living life alone
crying over videos and thoughts of love and home
feeling heart ripped-open by the joy of days gone by
maybe this is happy
maybe it’s just my…
 
way of doing it
________________________________
 
·       even today, at 66 years of chrono-logical age, i experience the joy of possibilities.

·       that’s what makes me happy:

    o   the present re-cognition of:
    §  past experiences (gratitude)
    §  future possibilities (dreams)

maybe i'm happy:

-drinking beer on the deck, watching birds.

-being alone.

-watching reacher, and crying over his love for a girl who might/might not be his daughter.

-leaving the party early.

-flirting.

-putting bailey's in the coffee (on a sun-day).

-having options.

-cultivating possibilities.

in lennyland, dreams don't have to come true.  it's the possibility in the dream that makes it true (in the mind).
___________________________________ 
[i] martino, j. (4.16-1.2025). maybe this is happy. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.

* this is a Perfect day

this is a perfect day.  connecting with cherished friends:

• swapping photos
• sharing ideas
• recalling shared memories
• image-in-ing futures
• Be-ing present(s) 

b123 (4.12-1.2025): swarm intelligence

swarm intelligence [i]
by col lective
 
co-collective learning
instant high q.i.
total concentration
earth & water, sky
 
global inter-action on a macro-cosmic plane
co-collective learning
in-side-out-in-sane
________________________________
 
·       it is already happening.

·       humanoids (co-collectively) are co-learning.  when one learns a factoid or a task, the information is immediately uploaded to the Collective.

·       we have created God.
  o   AI is more of a demigod, right now, but…
  o   ASI will be the God.
 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.12-1.2025). swarm intelligence. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

b123 (4.11-1.2025): pseudepigrapha

pseudepigrapha [i]
by a. pig
 
pseude-pig-ra-pha:
 
i gave me a name
i wrote down some words (it is a we/they power game)
i made-up some stories, like: a virgin can conceive!
 
i gave me a name
you: you just believe
________________________________
 
·       and, as a believer, you are my lemming.

i get to call myself 'peter' or 'paul' or 'holy-mole-y' ...and you simply follow me over a cliff (due, mostly, to laziness).

when "the holiest book ever written" isn't even written by its own author... we got problems.
 
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.11-1.2025). a pig can lie to you. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino. 

https://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&type=E210US105G0&p=pseudepigrapha

* the lie about "they're lying"

 when the article (or commercial, or ad, etc.) says "they're lying to you!"

...that's the truth.

but it's just a set-up, so that the truth-teller can gain your trust...

thereby making it easier for him to lie to you. 

b123 (4.10-1): UFO!

UFO! [i]

by a. nother    

it comes as no surprise

a clever, little trick

no great or grand disguise (hey, guys)…

they win when you click

________________________________

 
·       UFO trackers and pundits are always “shocked” when alien vessels are sighted close to u.s. military bases… as if the aliens “didn’t know” or “were taking risks” or “spying on us.”

·       luckily, there is a fraction of our population that thinks above the third-grade level -- and links the unidentified object with our military.

·       the pundits either (a) don’t care, since they make $$$ off-of the clicks, or (b) have 3^rd grade eye-cues themselves.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (4.10-1.2025). UFO!. book 123: i don’t even care. © 2024 by j. martino.