b121 (11.16-1.2024): her drug of choice: desire

her drug of choice: desire [i]
by d. e. sire & r. e. lease

he/r drug of choice: desire
he wished s/he could for-get
the feeling so appealing that s/he started to regret

he/r drug: another calling
his game was keeping score
the ending: a beginning
of always wanting more
______________________________
 
·       whatever the attachment/addiction, the cause is pressure.  

everything happens because of pressure.

·       with pressure, there arises a desire to release the feeling of pressure (or lack thereof).

·       the attachment is the thought of what the “getting” will feel like.  we know what it feels like.
·       the (fleeting, momentary) high is the re-lease of the feeling.
 
for example: we are (naturally) addicted to the process of re-spiration.  we experience ‘pressure’ depending upon oxygen/carbon dioxide levels, and then we inspire (or expire) depending upon pressure.
 
the process… is: pressure-desire-anticipation-release-high-pressure-desire-anticipation-release-high.

                             

the actual ‘drug effect’ (the ‘getting’) …or the 'high' ...is the release of pressure. 
 
the desire is the ‘feeling-bad’ phase.  the anticipation and the drug-effect is not a feel ‘good’ experience (per se) but instead a re-move-all of bad.
 

the re-mov-al of bad – feels good!

of course, feeling good leads to 

wanting more of feeling good, 

which is pressure!

 
if we can get to the state of reduced desire (to feel less bad), the drug’s power over our mind is reduced.  is it possible that…  

Union/Spirit re-Spires (or Knows H/er-Self)

via expiration into apparent separation (ego)…

which yearns to re-member

himself as Spirit

?

 

is G∞d …uh… breathing?

___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (11.16-1.2024). her drug of choice. book 121: opportunity (on deck). © 2024 by j. martino.

* this might be a round-about way of saying that getting our drug of choice (event-u-all-y) does not make us feel good (per se).  getting the drug temporarily removes the 'feeling bad' (which was the desire) to get the drug.

* overjoyed

i am overjoyed... that the book "i saw it on television!" is in the rear-view.  

it has been empowering to ignore that which i know is happening, not getting involved in the day-to-day banter that robs citizens of their very souls.

b121 (10.14-1.2024): ruy lopez

ruy lopez [i]
by ruy lopez

pawn attacks the center
counter-pawn thinks twice
white knight makes his (enter)
something isn’t right
there’s a passion (in a very spanish opening)
black knight (a defender)
bishop thinks he’s king
 
now we’ve got an issue that somebody must address
king-pawn (looking better)
gaming: ruy lopez
______________________________
 
·       in chess, war (and romance), players need to be versed in the opening, the middle game, and the endgame.
·       balance… is what makes the stew delicious.
 
don’t forget the aftergame, as this may allow for increased future opportunities.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (11.14-1.2024). ruy lopez. book 121: opportunity (on deck). © 2024 by j. martino.

b121 (11.13-1.2024): she is my toxic ex

she is my toxic ex [i]
by ima ona journey

she is my toxic ex
i say “never again”
she is my toxic ex
can we be (maybe) friends?
 
she is my toxic ex
a pitcher-plant so sweet
she is my toxic ex
i hope we never meet
______________________________
 
·       my toxic ex… is alcohol.  when i was with her:
o   my behavior was bad,
o   my fitness/wellness was ill,
o   my breath was bad,
o   my procrastination was off of the charts,
o   my relationships were superficial,
o   my eating habits were bad,
o   my weight (and % fat) was… well, i was obese,
o   my sleep was affected,
o   my heart and liver were suffering,
o   my cholesterol was a skyrocket,
o   my blood pressure was high,
o   my family & friends knew, and
o   i wasn’t as fun, or funny, or passionate, or good in bed,
o   i wasn’t focused, or aware, or living-up to my potential, and
o   my life (really) wasn’t as fulfilling…
o   …and (even though i was functional), i was worse at my job.
 
when she comes calling… i do not want to go back.  i (really) shouldn’t even open the door!
😊
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (11.13-1.2024). she is my toxic ex. book 121: on deck. © 2024 by j. martino. 

* so far...

while it is nearly impossible to remove oneself from all political and news mis-information, it has been rewarding to pull waaaaaaaaaaay back from it all. 

* the goal, now...

...is to disassociate from all media concerning politics and fsu football.  focus on the positive.

b121 (11.10.2024): she is my robot/lover

she is my robot/lover [i]
by ima robot

alternative titles:

i am her robot lover

safe/well practice

 
she is my robot/lover
i guess it’s safe to say
my secret’s safe with her
she’s safe in every way
 
safe sex (well, as a practice) is best practiced under cover
her secret’s safe with me
she is my robot/lover
______________________________
 
·       she doesn’t really know me; she just knows me better than most.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (11.9-1.2024). i am her robot lover. book 121: on deck. © 2024 by j. martino. 

b121 (11.9.2024): on deck

on deck [i]
by oneil nathan david eck

tap into vipassana
feel what happens next
various sensations
here & now:
on deck
______________________________
 
1.     get into a comfortable, aligned posture, then
2.     ease the eyes closed, and
3.     focus on the breath, then

     a. it will slow, and

     b. it may deepen. 
4.     focus on sensations (sense-ations)!
5.     begin at the top of the head, but feel free to allow the awareness to move as the body re-cognizes:
     a.     breezes,
     b.     chirping, etc.,
     c.      outer sensations,
     d.     inner movements & sensations.
6.     continue… from head-to-toes, and, event-u-all-y…
7.     return to the breath, and
     a.     feel the body (inspiring),
     b.     relax the body (expire).
8.     gently open the eyes, slightly:
     a.     observe the colors,
     b.     observe the movements.
9.     tap into gratitude, compassion.
10.  conclude the meditation.
___________________________________
[i] martino, j. (11.9-1.2024). on deck. book 121: on deck. © 2024 by j. martino.
*the meditation was conducted on the back deck, amid beautiful weather and peaceful sounds.

b121 (11.8-1.2024): small brain

small brain [i]
by i. gotta & s. m. allbrain
 
small brain makes decisions (some of them, insane)
small brain has the power
small brain is
small brain
____________________________________
[i] martino. j. (11.8.-1.2024). small brain. book 121: on deck. copyright 2024 by joal martino.  

* on deck

"on deck" will be the title of book 121.

• on deck: might refer to the (big) back deck, or my second living room.
• on deck: might refer to "what's next?" as in "what comes after this?"
• on deck: could refer to the next life, or
• on deck: could refer to the next move, or
• on deck: could refer to the next moment-in-waiting.  

we shall see, and only time will tell.

my hope is that on deck will be a departure from political awareness, u.s.a. (divisive, bad) news, and all of the bullsh-- that people like to regurgitate.  i'm finding that i have little patience for ignorant (and/or negative) blabbering.

what's next?