b32 (7.30.2024): i want you

i want you [1] 
 

i want you…

 
to smile
to grow
to feel a Real sense of security that allows you the freedom to stretch beyond far any perceived limits
 

i want you…

 
to laugh
to dance
to Know, in your Heart, that every, little problem is just another way for us to re-Member…

…how lucky we are

 

i want you…

 
to sing
to play
to feel my True Love… the kind of Love that transcends this world of form and duality
 

i want you

 
to Be…
…be-yond happy
 
________________________
 
[1] martineau, l. (7.30.2004). i want you. book 32: drama class. © 2004 by wellnesseducation.us 

b30 (5.6-2.2004): kokopeli

kokopeli [1]
by kokopeli
 
my name is kokopeli

my purpose is to dance
my purpose is to Love
my purpose is romance
my purpose is to play my flute with the sweet girl next door
 
she calls me kokopeli as she smiles and begs for more

---

[1] martino, j. (5.6-2.2004). kokopeli. book 30: kokopeli. copyright 2004 by joal martino.  

b30 (5.6-2.2004): inter-action

inter-action [1]

a world of inter-action
a world of magic scenes
a world of fake-special-effects and superficial dreams

a world of actor/actress
a world where stillness moves
a world of inter-action is a world of red and blue
__________________________________________________

· move-ies are worlds of interaction. the actors, the scenes, the roles, the plot: all fake, yet All a re-Flection of the reality (or, better yet, the sir-reality) of life.

the movie (it-self) is merely a series of still images, appearing to move.

__________________________________________________

[1] martino, j. (5.6-2.2004). inter-action. book 30: kokopeli. copyright 2004 by joal martino.

b30 (5.1-2.2004): Love Now

Love Now 

by ima l. over

 

don’t cry about tomorrow

tomorrow never comes

don’t worry about yesterday, that dance is over, done

 

you’ve only got one chance at this bright moment, anyhow

don’t waste another second, no

don’t waste away:

 

Love Now

---

 martino, j. (5-1.2-2004). Love Now. book 30: kokopeli. © 2008 by joal martino. 

b29 (4.7-3.2004): i met you in key west

i met you in key west [1]
 
i met you in key west, before the sunset there
i met you in key west out at the dock (mallory square)
 
we drank, we danced, we walked and talked and laughed and then we kissed
i met you in key west and we made Love out in the mist

________________________ 

• sue, i will never forget getting to know you in 1983... and the true southernmost point.

____________________________________ 

[1] martino, j. (4.7-3.2004). i met you in key west. book 28: original sin. copyright 2004 by j. martino. 

b27 (2.5.2004): the reason why ego is insane

the reason why ego is insane [1]
 
ego harbors two, deep fears:

 1. the fear of being alone, and separate from the All (Love)
2. the fear of being One, with the All
 
naturally, ego-fear acts-out an apparent horror story of a drama.

___________________________________________________
 

• one of the biggest fears of human beings is the fear of being alone.  aloneness is contradictory to the Law of Attraction.  observe nature, and See for yourself: like likes like, and like things gather together.  dr. john gray says that the biggest fear of a human being is the fear of being unworthy – unworthy of love.  if we are unworthy of love, then we fear that we’ll end up alone.

 

• if you want to control someone, break down his self esteem and “make” (help) him feel unworthy (criticize).  when his self-esteem is broken, he will do anything to get your tiny scraps of recognition that he is the least bit okay.  the problem is that you will both be miserable throughout the process.  he will feel controlled, and you will not ever be able to know his Love, since you get his adoration from his fear.

 

• if you want to Free someone, build up his self-esteem and help him feel worthy.  he will feel your Love, he will Know Love, and he will be able to express his Love.  you, simultaneously will Know the Love that you are expressing toward him, and, in Knowing your Love, you experience Love.   

 

• note: Love is experienced as an inner process, via giving it.  at a High Level of resonance, receiving Love is another way to give Love, since, by receiving, we are allowing someone else to express his Love.

 

• ego resists Love, or Oneness, because ego fears that he (separation) will cease and die if he re-Members with Love.  my (personal) take is that this is the original sin/mistake, the one that allows us to play in this movie-drama-theater and to get the feeling that this experience is a Real one.  my (personal) belief is that, when we re-Member Oneness, we’ll be able to See ego and thank ego for the ticket to the show, Knowing that, in Reality, ego is “perspective” which is a-part of the Whole One.  True “movement away” from God/All is impossible, since God is All that there is!  the experience of ego, “moving away” is Really the experience of God, expanding into that which wasn’t God prior to the expansion.

 

• btw: criticism is just another form of fear, defending.  it is an attack/defense based wholly upon fear.

 
_________________________________________
[1] martineau, l. (2.5.2004). the reason why ego is insane. book 27: miss u. © 2004 & 2025 by wellnesseducation.us 

b16 (2.2-1.2004): groundhog day

groundhog day [1]

by to-2/2-too-two...

i woke today, into a dream
i woke on up, nightmare (it seemed)
i woke today, a time or two
i woke today, and i saw you

i woke today, into a dream
i Woke-on-up when you saw me
i Woke today, and Here i’ll stay
i Woke with you, on groundhog day
___________________________
[1] martino, j. (2-2.1-2004). groundhog day. book 16: baklavahhh. © 2004 by joal martino. 

b25? (12.18.2003?): forget to For-Give

i've got to verify the true book, and date.

b25 (12.3-1.2003): y/our sins are forgiven

y/our sins are for-given
by a higher power than us

y/our sins are for-given
sin is a mis-take
wIe just missed the mark a bit, the punishment is fake
 
y/our sins are for-given
wIe live in a dream
you and i live here (in an illusion) so it seems 
______________________ 
 

• for-give-ness (True for-Give-ness) is our highest possible act, here at earth-school.* 

• for-give-ness is nothing more than the re-Membering that, as One Whole Peace, sin is impossible (from a Higher Perspective).  those who are watching this move-i-e understand. 

• On[c]e we can re-Member, we re-Lease ourselves from guilt. 

• re-Lease from guilt is akin to Heaven on earth.

 
* actually, a higher vibration is non-judgment.
_________________________
martineau, l. (12.3-1.2003). y/our sins are forgiven. book 25: smoke and mirrors. © 2003 by wellnesseducation.us 

revised 12.5.2025.

b20 (7.5-3.2003): the hero rhymes within

the hero rhymes within [1]

we’re having fun and feeling fine
although this poem – it doesn’t rhyme
it doesn’t matter if we win
because the hero rhymes within

__________________________

 
·        the above poem was written (in less than 60 seconds) as part of our annual “Femino Family Reunion,” during the  “scavenger hunt” event.
 
·        the martineau clan had to find 10 items, and #10 was “a four-line poem that rhymes.”
 
·        sidenote: we (the martineaus) “won” the scavenger hunt, in a tie-breaking “challenge” by putting on a one-minute song and dance routine (to “jingle bells”).
 
________________________________
 
poem analysis, two years later, 6-17-05:
 

• the True Self resonates within each of us, in a Real World where earthly victories and defeats do not matter, because this Real World is One of no-matter.

 

• this Real World is a Uni-Verse, a Singing Vibration of Loving Energy, expressed as infinite reflections of Light, interpreted (on the earth plane) as the dual world.  in Reality, it’s All One.

 

• this Real World can be “Connected with” (in glimpses, here), usually via art, song, meditation, creativity, massage, poetry, dance, etc. -- when love guides us toward Unity and Harmony.

 

• think about it: at times when you have glimpsed this “Unified Other World,” haven’t you been in an altered state of some kind?  this (loving) feeling emits a sense of Perfection, when everything seems “right.”  some people call these moments “Aha!” moments.

 

• anyway… the Way to the True Self is an inner journey.   someday, we’ll re-Member that, like dorothy (in the wizard of oz), this wasn’t really a Real journey… at All.

 
note: the word “hero” contains the dual-opposite words “he” and “her” while also containing the symbol of unity and one-ness “o”.   inside each of us is an apparent paradoxical dichotomy: the apparently separate self is a Unified Self.  this Self is the watcher of the Movie, the player in the Play, the dancer in the Dance.  no-thing else is Really Real. 
 
every-One is a Hero.

---

[1] martineau, l. (7.5-3.2003). the hero rhymes within.  book 20: the hero rhymes within. copyright lpmartineau & wellnesseducation.us 2003. analysis on 6-17-05. 

b19 (6.23-2.2003): that was then

that was then [1]
by joal

the s.u.v. lay on its side, the middle of i-10
short time ago a family was laughing (that was then)
short time ago a mother, father, child was alive
short time ago the damn thing rolled, and now it’s on its side
_____________________________ 
 
·        i was traveling east-bound, from destin to tallahassee, and somewhere around quincy i saw traffic, backed-up, on the other side of the highway.
 
·       the vehicle appeared to have rolled several times.  it ended up in the middle of both west-bound lanes.   the windows were all blown out, and it was obvious that every quarter of the vehicle had come in contact with highway.  the debris was all over the highway, with clothes, toys, and bodies on the road.  west-bound traffic was completely stopped, and it was going to be a long while before anything was going to be moved. 
 
·       three police cars were already on the scene, and an ambulance had already arrived, but things looked really bad.  i’m pretty sure that there was another car, off of the highway, in the ditch.
 
·        all of the cars on my side of the highway slowed down as they passed the scene.  a couple of people had stopped their cars on the right side of the highway.  i wonder if they had witnessed the accident.
 
·        i drove past, and remembered last june’s death scene (at chocktaw beach). 
 
·        i said a prayer for the bodies, the friends, the relatives, and for all those that would be affected. 
 
·        now, as i sit here at home, i’m still shaken-up.
 
·        how many times have i barely escaped death?  how many times have i driven recklessly?  how many times have i driven drunk?  how many times will i have to see death scenes before i savor every, single moment of healthy life?
 
·        i need to express myself, and i need to let all of this stuff out… before my time comes.  it could come any day, and it could happen at any time.

---

[1] matino, j. (6.23-2.2003). that was then.  book 19: evoL . copyright 2024 by j. martino. 

b19 (6.15-4.2003): evoL

evoL  [1]
by noi t.o. Love

again, the mirror image
again, the wrong way Home
again, i get it backwards
again, on top, alone
 
evoL(ving) into ego
evoL(ve) myself away
evoL(ve) to separation, yes,
evoL: what can i say?
 
i can reverse the process, Now,
no pain, no fear, no cost
the path of Love evoles with-in the space between my thoughts
 
evoL(ving) into outer space (a game we’ll never win)
when All the while, a loving child
evoL: the dance with-In
 
______________________________ 

·        “evol” –u-t-i-on is “no-i-tu-love” backwards.
 
·        deduction: Love means re-Cognizing that the “small i” (the ego) is an illusion.  the small i is “backwards love.”  the small i is necessary, however, as perspective... so that Love can know He/r-Self.

---

[1] martino, j. (6.15-4.2003). book 19: evoL. copyright june 15, 2003 by j. martino. 

b18 (4.20-1.2003): that's life

that’s life [1]
 
we sat around the table
we played the game called “life”
at times a bit unstable
with times of stress and strife
 
we drove the cars and bought the houses, raised the families
we played the game called “life” with times of joy and dis-of-ease
 
            in “life” you could go backwards, with one bad roll of dice
            in “life” you could get angry or go bankrupt or have vice
            in “life” you might just marry and you just might get divorced

in “life” you could resent or brood or laugh or cry (of course)

 
but once the game was over
we didn’t hold a grudge
the cards that we had drawn in “life,” well…didn’t mean that much
 
and once the game was over
we knew it was a game
a make-believe illusion: (in the end, it’s all the Same)

---

[1] martino, j. (4.20-1.2003). that’s life. book 18: ex-thinked. © 2003 by joal martino. 

 

artwork by joal.

b18 (4.16-3.2003): last day

last day [1]

if this was my last day

i don’t know what i’d do

i’d pick up telephone

i’d make a call to you

i’d breathe a little air

i’d take a walk outside

i’d make love (if i had the chance) 

if i was gonna die

 

if this was my last day

i know just what i’d do

i wouldn’t go to work

i wouldn’t read the news

i wouldn’t worry about half the things now on my mind

 

if this was my last day

my Source is what i’d find

______________________

[1] martino, j. (4.16-3.2003). last day. book 18: ex-thinked. © 2003 by joal martino.

* inspired by process 32: “make a friend of death.” by ryan and travis (2001), in Simply Well. 

* artwork by mel marquis. 

b17 (3.7-1.2003): no place like Ommmm

no place like Ommmm  [1]
by ima now-here

it’s time to click my heels

it’s like “i should have known”
it’s all part of the deal
there is no place like Ommmm

 
i’m really very grateful
i smile, and now, i sigh
i’m just about to say “hello”
and now i say “goodbye” 
 
there’s no time like the present
there’s no where left to roam
there’s no way that i ever left
there is no place like Ommmm*

---

[1] martino, j. (3.7-1.2003). no place like Ommmm. book 17: no place like Ommm. © 2003 by wellnesseducation.us & j. martino. 

* and (Now) i've come and gone.

b16 (2.28-2.2003): one, little grain

one little grain [1]

by a. g. rain

one little grain
alone in the Sand
one little grain
i don’t understand

one little grain
it’s so hard to see
i don’t understand
that I Am the Beach

__________________________  

· the only way that the grain Is the beach is via connection and Unification.

· it’s hard to See “Oneness” …from the perspective of the grain. the “sense of separate self” sees separateness. the grain would have a hard time seeing itself as “dune,” never mind “Beach.”

· the only way that Beach can describe itself, however, is by understanding it’s particularized parts.

· Beach, when answering the question: “Who Am I?” subdivides and (apparently) separates into stretches, dunes, and grains of sand. each grain could be (further) subdivided into molecules, atoms, sub-atomic particles, and so on…

· …but Beach Is Beach, and Beach consists of apparent separateness while be-ing Whole. from Beach-Perspective, It Is All One. separate grains are, in a sense, an illusion, because the Beach never “becomes” less than the Beach.

· the illusion of separation is not “subtraction.” it is the illusion of division.

(yes, sometimes life is a beach)
____________________________
[1] martino, j. (2.28-2.2003). one little grain. book 16: baklavahhh. copyright 2003 by joal martino.

* inspired by a walk on the beach in destin, florida.

b16 (2.28-1.2003): answering the paradoxical question

answering the paradoxical question [1]

 
question: if God can do anything, can he create a rock so big that he cannot pick it up?
 
answer: God (the Is, G∞d) creates and expands.  a manifestation of this expansion is the illusory, material, dual plane of existence.  the material projections (ego) are finite, unreal, and limited.
 

each is also part of the Whole.

 
“God” can create a projection scenario in which a material aspect of Godself (man) cannot pick up another material aspect of Godself (rock).
 
but, in Reality… the rock does not exist, nor does the physical body.
 
God Is.  man Is.  the rock Is. 
 
the created projection can be Seen as both movable and immovable, based upon one’s perception.
 
a better question might be: can God answer a question that is negatively motivated, and asked by a fearful, insecure, wise-guy -- without getting frustrated?
 
parable: there once was a rock so big that no one could move it.  the men of the village called upon a boy with special powers – one who could give the blind man sight and heal the lame.  when the boy was brought to the rock, and when he was asked to move it, he replied: 

this rock may be displaced, or it may stay here indefinitely.  

but “up” does not exist, and movement does not not exist.  

the rock is already moving.  “up” is relative.

 

the thing that needs to be picked-up is your energy projection.  

you live in a world full of wonderous variety, infinite abundance, and unlimited joy – 

yet you spend your energy in negative attempts to discount the obvious.

 

your fear has made you miserable and apparently unloved, 

but you are not your projection of negativity.  

you are not he who attempts to trip your brother.  

you are also a projection of God, a wonder of life, a man who is searching for answers.

 

go now and dedicate your life to Seeing beauty, instead of criticism.  

sing songs of Joy, instead of reciting words of cynicism.  

you will surely find that the path of Laughter is bountiful, the path of Unity is Peaceful, and 

the path of Togetherness will satisfy your inner thirst for Love.   

 

---

[1] martino, j. (2.28-1.2003). answering the paradoxical question. book 16: baklavahhh.  copyright 2003 by joal martino. 

-Inspired by being down. 

b16 (2.8-4.2003): baklavahhhhhh!

baklavahhhh! [1]

                                                          
a multitude of layers
a smooth, uneven, fit
a party for the taste-buds
can’t get enough of this
 
it’s sweet and sometimes nutty
it’s honey and it’s crust
it is a living paradox, so take a bite (you must)
 
okay (it’s sometimes sticky)
okay, it (sometimes) flakes
okay (it seems imperfect), but here comes my final take:
 
the secret’s in the process
a co-creation (aaahhhhhh!)
a multitude of layers
a life of baklava
____________________________ 
 

• inspired by Ram Das, who, during a lecture in tallahassee on february 5, 2003, said something like: “life is like baklava.” 

• kind of makes you want to take a little bite out of life, doesn’t it?                   

* life wouldn’t taste as great (if we left out all of the nuts).

---

[1] martino, j. (2.8-4.2003). baklavahhhhh! book 16: baklavahhhhh. © 2007 by joal martino. 

[2] image from wikepedia.

b16 (2.3-4.2003): quiet little candle

quiet little candle [1]


quiet little candle
    small bouquet of flowers
        simple little vigil
            memories of ours
                lives no longer living
                    sadness in your eyes
                        lonely little children

                     no time for goodbyes

 _______________________________ 

• it seems as though, every time you pick up a paper or watch the news, there is another vigil, another tragedy, another altar of candles and roses. 

• another symbol of our mortality, our “finite-ness,” and our limited little journey toward the infinite and unlimited.

---

[1] martino, j. (2.3-4.2003). quiet little candle. book 16: baklavahhh. © 2007 by joal martino. 

b15 (1/15/2003): Ever-lution

Ever-lution [i]
by no-i-to-love

Ever-lution… the infinite expansion outward,

combined with the infinite observation (inward)
_______________________

• interestingly enough, “missing the mark,” “sinning,” and “incarnation” are pathways toward “hitting the mark,” “aligning,” and returning to Love.

_______________________

[i] martino, j. (1.15-4.2003). Ever-lution. book 15: In-Joy. © by joal martino.

b15 (1/8/2003): dreaming is symbolic

dreaming is symbolic [i]
a. dre amer

 
you see the things you see
you feel the things you feel
it all seems like it’s happening
it all seems like it’s real
 
but here you are (asleep, again)
although awake (it seems)
it’s All One Big Illusion
it’s All, Here (in your Dreams)
 
 

• “life is but a dream”

________________________

martino, j. (1.8-1.2003). dreaming is symbolic. book 15: In-Joy. © by joal martino.

b14 (12.29-1.2002): double vision

double vision [1]
 
sometimes i’m a chameleon
one eye sees left, one right
sometimes i’m a chameleon
one eye sees day, one night
sometimes i’m a chameleon
i’m split apart (no fun)
sometimes i’m a chameleon
when i forget I’m One

---

[1] martino, j. (12-29.1-2002). book 14: one track mine-d. © 2007 by wellnesseducation.us 

b11 (9.1-5.2002): don't save the best for last

(don’t) save the best for last [1]
by nowi shoula known
 
“make sure you save the best for last”  (well, that’s what i was told)
but when i got to the last bite, well, something tasted cold!
i waited ‘till the final dance, until the final song
but when i got to my last chance, well, baby, you were gone!
 
well, it was a hard lesson (though quite far from my worst)
"when you get a shot you’d better take your best one first!"
 
 
____________________
 
[1] martineau, l. (9.1-5.2002). don’t save the best for last. book 11: relative expression. © 2002 by l. p. martineau, j. martino & wellnesseducation.us 

b9 (7.x-x.2002): nobody won

nobody won (draft) [1]

by n. o. body

 

and no one was separate

and damn, it was fun

and nobody lost because nobody won

 

we went to the game

and nobody won

no victory dance (with the celebration)

 

and “nobody won” was a G∞d thing (of Course)

because nobody won because nobody lost

 

and Everyone played on the Same Macro-tream

with Infinite talents and Infinite dreams

 

and no one was separate

incredible Fun

and nobody lost because nobody, One

 
 

---

[1] martino, j. (x.x-x.2002). nobody One. book 9: plenny of space. copyright 2024 by j. martino).

*unsure of the exact date written. 

Somebody's gone away

  Somebody's Gone Away
June 2^nd, 2002

 It’s June 2^nd, 2002.  It is exactly 4:40 a.m., and I’m driving from Destin to Tallahassee -- trying to make it to my Course in Miracles class at 9 a.m.  Route 20 is a single-lane, deserted, bayside roadway at this point.  There are no streetlights, and absolutely nobody else is on the road except one car -- approximately one-half of a mile ahead of me.  I’ve got my high-beams on, because it’s pitch-black, and I’ve seen many deer on this road at this time of the day/night.

My eye catches onto something, in the middle of the other side of the road, up ahead.  I slow down a bit, and, as I cruise by, I notice what looks like a garbage bag or suitcase or something.  Then… I see a smashed-in pick-up truck, in a ditch, on the other side of the road. 

As I passed by, it seemed as if the truck had been abandoned.  There were no lights on, there was no smoke, and no sign of action.  In addition, the car ahead of me hadn’t stopped, so I figured that the accident must have occurred many hours earlier, and the wrecker hadn’t yet removed the vehicle.  I was in the middle of the nowhere, so I could justify (in my mind) that a vehicle could be “left” like that.  It wouldn’t have been the first time that I’d seen something like that. 

I remember thinking “fatal” as I drove past.

But what was that “bag” in the road? Why did I see debris strewn about? 

Could this have just happened? No way!

Something deeeeep inside of me decided that I’d should stop, back-up, and check it out.  I have to admit this, however, I did not want to find… exactly what I found.

By the look of the truck, upright, in a ditch, about 30 yards away, there couldn’t have been any survivors.  The front end was crushed (like an accordion), and the hood was smashed up into the broken windshield.  The right-side of the vehicle was pretty banged-up, and I assumed that it had rolled at least once or twice. 

Former Pickup Truck

The day is June-the-second; the year: 2002

It’s 5 am; it’s dark, I’m driving home (and this is true)

I’m 10 miles out of Niceville, in a place they call “bad luck.” 

Yeah, off the road (they must have rolled), a former pickup truck

There is no light nor sound when I get out to check the scene

While just across the street: the bay (the water, so serene)

My heart is racing (past the luggage, clothing, and “Bud Light”)

As I prepare myself for this: a very morbid sight

I pointed my high-beams toward the truck, and my pulse was pounding as I got out of the car. I watched where I was stepping, because it was pitch-black, and the headlights made everything seem even spookier than it already was. There was no sound, no heat, and no movement coming from the truck. Again, part of me was still hoping that the ambulances, cops, etc. had already come and gone, and that they’d left the truck in the ditch ...

…but no, nooooo. no.

On the side of the road was a luggage bag, and then another. Stuff was everywhere, and I knew that if anyone had been here before me, they would have cleaned this up. I was the first one on the scene, and absolutely nobody was here but me! No cars, no neighbors, nobody to talk to, no light, no sounds. I thought that, maybe, well, maybe the driver was drunk, and maybe he ran away from the scene to avoid a DUI (I hoped). I was afraid to call out, afraid to find “body parts,” and afraid to look down into the ditch. I moved the bag from the middle of the road to the side embankment, and was about to go down into the darkness by the vehicle, when some headlights approached from the opposite direction. Thank God!

A guy got out of his car, and I told him we needed a flashlight. That’s when an emergency vehicle (a small jeep with a red-flashing light) approached. The guy from the car handed me his flashlight, and, without wanting to, I went down and looked into the truck. Inside was a young boy (maybe nineteen or so), strapped into the passenger’s side of the vehicle. 

He was still, alive, with blood all over his face, neck, and arms. He wasn’t moving. He looked at me with sad, empty eyes, which were rolled, halfway-up under his low eyelids. He was hurt bad, and in shock. I asked him if he was alright, and he didn’t even try to speak (just that spacey, glazed look). By now I knew that the driver must have been thrown-out, and must be close by.

Meanwhile, the jeep drove up on to an embankment, overlooking the ditch, and its searchlight revealed the body of the driver. From my perspective, the body immediately reminded me of one of my younger massage therapy students. He was face-down in the mud, with his arm up over his head, completely still. The EMT checked on him, and rolled him over to try to talk to him, but the boy remained motionless. My guess is that he was dead.

“Curtain Calls”

Hold your loved ones tight, savor every hug and kiss.

‘Cause (someday) “curtain calls” and that will be the end of this.

I checked-in on the boy in the truck again, and again he just gazed back, blank.  I said something like “Everything is going to be alright,” even though I knew that everything was going to be far, far, far from all right, for a long, long, long time.  At this point, another emergency specialist (this one in fireman’s gear) came up to the truck to check on the boy inside.  By now,  another car had stopped, and another vehicle with flashing lights was arriving. 

Still no noise. 

Was I in some kind of a-void?

I asked the emergency tech if there was anything I could do.  He said “Did anyone see the crash?”  I said “No.”  And then he said something like, “No, we’ll take it from here.”  As I slowly walked back to my car, I heard one man make the radio call for “the chopper.” 

I got in my car and slowly drove away, numb.  I’m still numb.

I hate to say this, but I am so glad that I didn’t walk down into the black ditch and find the driver.  I’m glad I had some distance from that.

Somebody’s Gone Away

Somebody’s gone away today

Somebody someone loved

Somebody’s gone away (he’s better off, now, up above)

Somebody left behind a friend, but (maybe) not for long

Somebody’s gone away,

Somebody sing somebody’s song

I drove back toward Tallahassee, and all I could think of was the vulnerability of the human body, the immediacy of an automobile wreck, the ramifications of driving after drinking, and the frailty of this thing we call “life.” Any of us can transition at any time.

What next?

My momma doesn’t know it (yet)

My daddy, still asleep

My girlfriend won’t believe it (that’s the last she’ll see of me)

My sister’s gonna cry, each time she walks on by (my room)

My body’s in a ditch, and now my life is over, soon

I look down at the wreckage and it is a sorry sight

Luggage, clothes and sunglasses (and cans that say “Bud Light”)

Why did I try to drive, why did I try to get back home?

Why am I floating upward?

Why am I all alone?

I see Paul in the truck, he’s still strapped in, he’s not dead (yet)

I’ll see him at my funeral (he’ll shed a tear, I bet)

I’m way above the water now, the crash-scene just a speck

I feel so light and free, I’m going up (okay, what next?)

The whole situation re-Mind-ed me about my family, about the woman that I love, about children, about loss. I thought about this guy’s family and friends. I recited the “Child of Light” prayer, out loud, for each of those boys.

I managed to make it to my Course in Miracles class by 8:50 am, and talked with Reverend Bill Williams about my experience before class. I was still “shaken-up,” to say the least. Bill was, as usual, profound and calming.

It is now 11:21, and it has been a long day. It can only get better.

I Know HE IS ok

i saw death today

I know he is ok

i hope he is ok

i think he is ok

i believe he is ok

i doubt myself… (what do i really think/know/feel?)

i know he is ok

i know he is ok

I know he is ok

I know it is All ok

i’d like to think that it is all going to be ok

i (intellectually) know it is all ok

-------

i felt death today

it did not “feel” good, nor did it “feel” ok

i know that his Spirit is ok

I know that “Spirit” is ok

i feel a lot of material-world, “not-ok-ness” right now

I Know HE IS ok.

We have all heard this a zillion times, but maybe a zillion-and-one ain’t bad:

Love for today, live for today. 

Give love today. 

Show it, say it, do it. 

Be it. 

Today could be your/their last, or (at least) the last in this lifetime.
Hug your loved ones and tell them that you love them.
Love yourself, and take care of yourself and others.

Say “I Love You” today.

Thank you for allowing me to express myself and maybe heal some of this.

Love, Lenny 

b7 (5.31-1.2002): box lunch

box lunch

by afternoon d. elight

you told me you’d be coming and that you like me a bunch
you told me not to eat because you’re bringing a box lunch
you say it might be breasts (today), or maybe even thigh
you say it’s hot, you say it’s sweet, you say that i won’t mind

you say that you’ll be wearing a short skirt and skimpy blouse
you say your appetite is wet before you're in the house
you’ll call-in late for work, again (at least that is my hunch)
you are the perfect date when you are bringing me box lunch

_______________________________ 

martino, j., modified from (5.31-1.2002). box lunch. book 7: Plenitude. © 2002 by joal martino.

b4 (4.1-1.2002): "____"

“____” [1]
 
english has a magic word that erases the past
i’d like to share it with you (but you’d fall for it too fast)
 
you see, i really like you (but this message is sublime)
this word’s for you, but it’s a little bit before its time
 
i’d use it in a sentence, but then you would surely guess
you’re qualified (but there’s a little something to confess)
 
the words that come before this word have little meaning, but
i could keep this a secret (but i think i’ve said too much)
 
so, listen up, you’ll hear it (but you won’t be listening)
they want you to be free but then they spank you when you sing
 
so, guess me if you can, but please don’t get into a rut
i’m here to help, but suit yourself, this case is open/shut
 
but this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you
but i’m trying to be serious, but i very seldom do

____________________________________

[1] martino, j. (2002). "___". book iv: plenny more. copyright 2002 by j. martino.