b111 (8.31-1.2022): okay danced with commit

commit danced with okay [1]

by ima okay & isa commit
 
okay (at the party), asked commit to dance
then (with one embrace) it was much more than just romance
interstellar-love can feel both awesome (or tox-sick)
ima danced with isa, as
okay danced with commit
_________________________________
 
·       what if two (very young) people had incredibly deep, important inner-needs that caused each to behave in such a way as to not get those met?
·       what if ima okay’s inner mantra was: “PLEASE DON’T CRITICIZE ME!  I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM OKAY!” and isa commit’s inner-mantra was “PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!  I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM SECURE!”
·       what if these needs were actually seeds, planted long-before commit and okay were even able to recognize them?
 
…and what if the Loving aspects of themselves co-created Blissful Union, but their fearful inner-selves co-created the very scenario that was most toxic?
_________________________________
[1] martino, j. (8.31-1.22). commit danced with okay. book 111: Love IS. © 2022 by wellnesseducation.us. 

okay danced with commit

commit danced with okay [1]

by ima okay & isa commit
 
okay (at the party), asked commit to dance
then (with one embrace) it was much more than just romance
interstellar-love can show as awesome (toxic-sh--!)
ima danced with isa
okay danced (commit)
_________________________________
 
·       what if two (very young) people had incredibly deep, important inner-needs that caused each to behave in such a way as to not get those met?

·       what if ima okay’s inner mantra was: “PLEASE DON’T CRITICIZE ME!  I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM OKAY!” and isa’s inner-mantra was “PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!  I NEED TO KNOW THAT I AM SECURE!”

·       what if these needs were actually seeds, planted long-before commit and okay were even able to recognize them?
 
…and what if the Loving aspects of themselves co-created Blissful Union, but their fearful inner-selves co-created the very scenario that was most toxic? 

_________________________________
[1] martino, j. (8.31-1.22). commit danced with okay. book 110: Love IS. © 2022 by wellnesseducation.us.

dear chicago

 ...by ryan adams...

https://www.google.com/search?q=dear+chicago+lyrics&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS994US994&oq=dear+chicago+ly&aqs=chrome.1.69i59l2j69i57j0i390l2j69i61.6859j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

is a reflection on meaningful, romantic relationships.

the girl he (the man in the song) has just met is fantastic, but can't ever measure up to 'chicago,' his last love... because she is all that he thinks about.

he fluctuates, of course.

in the end, he realizes that his present relationship, while not getting him over 'chicago,' has (at least) helped to get him over 'new york'.

he's a rock star, living the rock star life.  he's got lots of past lovers, and some stand out more than others. past loves fade, as they no longer desire to connect, so you (eventually) let them go, mentally.  

---------------------------------------------

...but their (good) memories are always there, 
and you always can tap into that, making you wish that you could re-live it.

sweet, lovable, clean, wholesome, smart, assertive, understanding,

perfect wife material (but you aren't ready for a wife),

because the problem (at least, to society), is you.

the rock star in you doesn't believe it, however, and lives his rock star life.

---------------------------------------

so..... eventually/realistically, you re-cognize that they have moved-on, which means that you can/should/might/maybe, also.

the suicide talk is (really) just relationship drama.  it is a man's way of making himself think that he really, truly, cared soooooooooooo much.

truth is, if he really did, he wouldn't be writing this song.

when you really, really care (unconditionally), you do what it takes to stay in the game.

the song itself is open-hearted genius.

men (who are in rock star mode) can and will take everything that they can get... and "falling in love" is fantastical... until the next hottie wants to give you a lil' sumpin'. 

this song, like the eagles' desporado, is the re-cognition of the paradox.

  

 

wishing you weren't here

wishing you weren’t here [1]
by steven albert dunn
 
i used to wish to see you (and to hold-on to you): near
but something else has happened
i wish that you weren’t here
_________________________________
 
·       in relationships, partners (at the beginning) wish that each other was near, or here, or close.
·       when things begin to go sour, a different feeling can arise: the wish that a partner wasn’t there.  it is the desire to be alone, or apart.
·       i’ve experienced this recently, at my girlfriend’s place, amid disagreements and arguments and distancing -- and at times when things just didn’t feel right.
·       but… for the first time, yesterday, at my place, i felt that i wished she wasn’t there.  she had just said something like “i want to go home” or “i’m going to go home” or something like that, but we were by the pool, and she was emotionally distant, and i felt it:
 

“i wish she wasn’t here.”

 
relationships end, sometimes.  to often, they end looooong before the actual, official ending.
 
my (personal) belief if that they end… and have ended… when one or the other wishes that the other wasn’t there.
 
it’s weird: i wish that she was here:
·       in her happy place,
·       glad to be here,
·       loving me,
·       wanting to be with me,
·       conversational,
·       interactive,
·       touching,
·       kissing,
·       connecting,
·       etc.
 
when she is here, and when it feels as though she doesn’t want to be here… it is close to the worst feeling in the world.  the worst feeling in the world would be to be cohabitating, and for her to be bitchy, and for me to be trapped.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2eE9H7Nzww
_________________________________
[1] martino, j. (8.14-1.22). i wish she wasn’t here. book 110: Love IS. © 2022 by wellnesseducation.us. 

b111 (8.14-1.2022): wishing you weren't here

wishing you weren’t here [1]
by steven albert done
 
i used to wish to see you (and to hold-on to you): near
but something else has happened
i wish that you weren’t here
_________________________________
 
·       in relationships, partners (at the beginning) wish that each other was near, or here, or close.

·       when things begin to go sour, a different feeling can arise: the wish that a partner wasn’t there.  it is the desire to be alone, or apart.

·       i’ve experienced this recently, at her place, amid disagreements and arguments and distancing -- and at times when things just didn’t feel right.

·       but… for the first time, yesterday, at my place, i felt that i wished she wasn’t there.  she had just said something like “i want to go home” or “i’m going to go home” or something like that, but we were by the pool, and she was emotionally distant, and i felt it:  

“i wish she wasn’t here.”

 
relationships end, sometimes.  to often, they end looooong before the actual, official ending.
 
my (personal) belief if that they end… and have ended… when one or the other wishes that the other wasn’t there.
 
it’s weird: i wish that she was here:
·       in her happy place,
·       glad to be here,
·       loving me,
·       wanting to be with me,
·       conversational,
·       interactive,
·       touching,
·       kissing,
·       connecting,
·       etc.
 
when she is here, and when it feels as though she doesn’t want to be here… it is close to the worst feeling in the world.  the worst feeling in the world would be to be cohabitating, and for her to be bitchy, and for me to be trapped.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2eE9H7Nzww
_________________________________
[1] martino, j. (8.14-1.22). i wish she wasn’t here. book 111: Love IS. © 2022 by wellnesseducation.us. 

she just hung up on me

bitch just hung up on me.

i've got two words for that:
"f-ck that."

her last words were: "you are annoying me. i've got to go."

this, after she started an argument about the difference between the meaning of the words "empathy" and "relating" and "sympathy."

my take?

she wasn't right, so she got angry and quit.

i.will.not.be.exclusive.with.a.girl.who.hangs.up.on.me.