b68 (2.2-1.2010): why i am single

why i am single [1]

by joal martino

 

the purpose of this essay is to describe why i am single.

 

it (kind-of) answers the question, posed to many humanoids nowadays, which is:

 

“you’re such a nice (cool, fun, etc.) guy, why haven’t you ever been married?”

 

note: this is not a marriage-bashing essay.  we “single” people (contrary to popular belief) Love married people!  some of our best friends are married.  some of our best relatives are married.  many of us are very, very glad that our parents got married.

 

married people: we Love you.

 

it’s just that we aren’t married (yet, and maybe never will be, and maybe that’s okay).

 

b.t.w: this essay is just for me, so do not ever, ever, ever feel obligated to read it.  

it’s just for moi.

 

allow me to describe my day, so far today (it’s exactly 12:27 pm; just after/during lunch/siesta), eastern standard time.  i’ve been up since 0600.

 

the alarm jolted me out of bed at six-o’clock, and i’d set it with no time to spare, since i had a job interview at 8, and the weather was predicted to be “ice, with a wintery mix.”

 

i shut off the alarm, and promptly slithered back into bed (just for a second), only to awaken to the knowing that it was late, i was late, and i should slap myself silly (if i only had time).

 

shave, shower, go.  lots of traffic.   at 7:58 (two miles from the interview) i call “debbie” to let her know that i’m stuck on the brookshire street exit.  in my mind, the mantra “cities suck, cities suck!” is ringing -- very, very loudly.

 

instead of panic, i chill.  i breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeathe.  i smile.

 

at 8:01, i enter the interview building, and i’m actually ahead of schedule (since the committee is preparing themselves, in the interview room).

 

paperwork, etc.

 

i proceed to kick the interview’s ass.   i’m exponentially overqualified for the job, but there were 279 applicants, and i’m just happy to get into the pool of the final eight.  i flow.  i don’t need the job anyway (because nobody needs any-thing, anyway), but i let the committee know that i’d be nothing short of dynamite in this position.  yes, yes, yes, i gave them handouts, 13 potential references (true), and we spoke to each other like happy siblings at a family reunion.

 

i exit, smiling.  i thank the committee.  in the lobby, i shake the hands of the next two interviewees, and i tell them that i hope that we’ll all get hired, so that we can all work together.  i’m not lying… it’s just that i’m envisioning how these guys would do very well, working for me.

 

i call the love of my life, and (even though she’s 40 miles out of the way), i ask if she’d like 15-minutes of company before she goes off to work.

 

she (of course) loves the idea, and she prepares a giant cup of coffee for me as i approach the hacienda that can only be referred to as “casa-susita.”

 

i enter her house; i kiss her delicious face, and we proceed to express our appreciation for one-another for the next 10 delectable minutes.

 

we exit, and i drive home.  upon arrival, i proceed to throw my suit-jacket and tie onto the ironing board.  ((yes, i ironed my shirt late last night, and neglected to move the ironing board out of the living room.))  

by the way, do you have issue with that? 

 

i look left, i look right.  it’s 1013.  school has been cancelled at the college, and i’ve got the day off. 

 

i look left, and again i look right.  i open the fridge, and pop open magic hat winter seasonal (porter), and i smile, knowing that my girl would love to be right here, right Now, sharing what cheryl crowe might call a “beer buzz, early in the morning.”    another part of me is quite happy to be able to enjoy this moment by myself, in my own place, in my own time, in my own way.  and guess what?  nobody can say nothin.

i take off my shirt.

 

with siesta in mind, i begin to cook the most fantastic meal that you will ever savor, ever:

 

          ·    grilled veggies (with onion and garlic, since i’m alone)

·     blackened mahi mahi (can you say “YUM?”)

·      trader joe’s white wine (because i’m now officially “out of beer”)

 

as the adventure progresses, my attire morphs into the following:

• dress pants (belt removed, and then thrown across the living room – because i can)
• black shoes replaced by florida state university slippers (go ‘noles!)
• a fleece “providence, rhode island” sweatshirt (blue, in color)

i eat, i drink.  the cellphone is off.  there is no television, there is no noise.  …not even a bit of background music. 

nada, baby, nada.

 

…and i get to think of you, the humanoids that i love, love, Love.  …and i get to write to you, and to open-up to you. …and i get to feel Connected to you!   i Love you, and i Love this!

 

and that is why i’m single.  i’m not saying that being single is “right”… i’m just sayin’…

 

love, joal

___________________________________________________

[1] martino, j. (2009). why i am single. book 68: wonder-Full. © 2010 by joal martino.

* but here's the real reason: you can do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want, with who you want, for the reasons why you want... and nobody can question your reasons.  you've got no ring, no contract, no promise, no commitment, no kids, no dog, no debt... and nothing but time and options.

...and you've got no tolerance for anyone who wants you to behave a certain way (so that they will be happier).

------------------------------

here's a 2025 update on the issue:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEWaeRcYbGw 

entitled "the solo man's revolution."

b67 (8.6-1.2009): merry-go-round

merry go round [1]
by c. a. rousel

"a merry-go-round is an entertaining ride that takes one around in circles."

we hop onto fake animals, benches, etc., and then we experience apparent movement while (Really) going NowHere. ..we laugh, we cry, and the time (of our life) appears to pass by.

of course, the ride comes complete with ups & downs. ..we go backwards & forwards.

carousels can also carry a lot of baggage. ..some people even experience sickness on the roundabout.

"a merry-go-round is an enterain’ting ride that takes us around in circles."

interestingly enough, the go-round is but one of the infinite, merry diversions to be found (as we carouse here) in this, a particular-ly magical amusement park.
_____________________________________

[1] martino j. (8.6.1-2009). book 67: melt. © 2009 by joal martino. graphics from microsoft clipart. 

-the picture of john & steve ...is at the crescent park merry-go-round, rhode island (1970-something).

* in a material world where everyone talks about the importance of Being pre-sent, maybe we are Spirit's Present. 

b67 (8.5-1.2009): funnel vision

----------------note: for the Nondual bretheren, this post pertains to life in the dual world.


funnel vision

by nowyoud think wedgetit

funnel vision (filter)
funnel vision (Fun)
funnel vision (limitation)
funnel vision (One)

___________________________________________

* funnel vision (like tunnel vision) allows us to filter out large amounts of potential data -- in order to better focus on a tiny portion of that which is available.

* interestingly enough, our experience becomes that which we sense/assimilate.

question: why does this even matter?

1. humans have quite a bit of choice over what we decide to view, smell, taste, hear, feel and think. ..our experience (if we lived in a world surrounded by infants, nature & Love) would be completely different than one surrounded by violence, pollution, & fear.

2. imagine using funnel vision with a goal (e.g. "drinking more clean water" as a wellness practice). ..by design, an increased focus on water-wellness would result in a filtering-out of toxic sense-ations, and Higher-Level Wellness would simply be a factor of how funneled our vision was.

3. the Law of Attraction isn't mysterious, it's my-story-us. ..we get more of that which we focus on, and we get less of the other stuff. ..it is important to note that this works in the positive and negative, which is why there is a major difference between:

• focusing on "wanting to lose weight," vs.
• focusing on "becoming leaner, lighter, and more flexible"

if we focus on "wanting to lose weight," we might actually gain weight (because we'll get more of what we focus on, which is "wanting to lose" it). ..thoughts of "want" attract more want. ..in addition, our bodymind's survival mechanism doesn't react favorably to restrictions, resistance and denyAll.

sample mantras:
i consume consciously; i eat/drink mindfully;
i eat & exercise in accordance with my perfect weight;
i shop for healthy, whole, natural foods, therefore:
i am leaner, lighter, and more flexible every day.

imagine "funnel vision" during a supermarket shopping experience. ..would there be a difference between the shopper whose funnel consisted only of the outer "U" versus the shopper who paid attention only to the middle of the store?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

* for more on how the Law of Attraction works, click on the link (below):

25 april..... power of thoughts (2008)

the "power of thoughts" essay is vitally important to "getting" this post, and
fun-da-mental to understanding many of the other ideas put forth on this website's blog.

-------------------------------------------------
epilogue: the above thoem, funnel vision, uses the final line to hint that even our separate, small, individual, tiny worlds are One.

maybe the Uni-Verse (First Cause, the All, Oneness, etc.) Is Vision, and maybe each one of us is like a little funnel, allowing for an infinite number of apparently separate experiences.

it would be as if the Universal Is could tune-in to an infinite selection of channels, shows, sit-calms, plays, and experiences while Being Free from any thought that any of it was Real.

wouldn't that be Heavenly...

it would be as if the One could Be the many, and could (moment-arilly) become lost in the most fantastic virtual-reality tell-a-vision avail-able.

* funnelnote: at this, the dual-world level, we assimiate strongest when we "shut down" external data and funnel on only one thing. ..when watching t.v. or sitting in front of the computer, the human bodymind is often a vegetative, void, blank slate, extremely open to picking up whatever messages are placed upon the screen.

questions to self:

1. what's new, in the news? ..does the message favor fear, or love?

2. what is the primary message of all commercial advertisements?**

3. what have i been channeling lately?

4. what are my kids channeling?

__________________________________________________
martino, j (8.5-1.2009). funnel vision. book 67: melt. copyright by joal martino. 

* graphics by microsoft clipart.

** answer to question #2: commercial advertisements of all kinds provide us with the same negative, erroneous message, which is:

"you are not okay as you are, and if you purchase this product, you'll be okay-er."

if there is a common theme to the wellnesseducation.us blog, it is this:

"You are Perfectly Perfect, just the way You Are."
(Now... is there anything that you would you like to experience differently?)

b67 (6.14-1.2009): GURU

GURU [1]

by ima notta guru

 

“guru” is spelled G.U.R.U. (gee, you are you)!

 

…and, if All is (Really) One, then nobody needs a guru (outside of him/herself) to give them advice on anything.

 

if i seek a guru, i perpetuate the illusion of duality.

 

if i seek to be a guru (teacher, seer, thinker, knower) then i perpetuate the illusion of duality.

 

if, however, i can meld with you,

     smile with you,

         dance with you, and

               laugh with you…

 

(without needing to express my own viewpoint)

 

in those moments, i’m experiencing a movement in the direction of Nonduality.

 

thank G∞d for those rare moments.  

_________________________________

 

• even in a short thoem like this, one can sense the ego-ic perspective, trying to conceptualize it all… and then one can feel a more Love-ing perspective, kicking back and experiencing It All.

---

[1] martino, j. (6-14.1-2009). GURU. book 67: melt. © 2009 www.wellnesseducation.us.

  

b6 (6.11-1.2009): it's All for[e]Play

it’s All for Play [1]
by f. o. replay
 
it’s all foreplay (really)
 
howler monkey screams
green iguana bobs his head while peacock spreads its wings
mini-skirt with cowboy boots, live music at the shore
 
it’s All for-Play (Really) and there’s no one keeping score
______________________________
 
·        is this Whole, earth-bound experience just a Dancing magical Playground of Love?
 
____________________________________
inspired by a picture... and a line from a wellnesseducation.us post entitled “BamaJam” on 6-8-09, and by a song entitled “bama breeze” by jimmy buffet.

[1] martino, j. (6.11-1.2009). it's All for[e]Play. book 67: melt.  © 2009 by wellnesseducation.us. 

  

b67 (6.9-1.2009): melt

melt [1]
 by a. t. ransformer
 
snowflake on the radiator, that’s the way it felt
land in the wrong space and then you boil (or burn in hell)
 
there are times (no reason, rhyme) just play the cards you’re dealt
sometimes life and death are just a transformation:
 
melt
_______________________________________________________
 
* when ice melts into water and water into air, does it “die,” 

or does it just take on a Higher form of vibration?

---

[1]  martino, j. (6-9.1-2009). melt. book 67: melt.  © 2009 www.wellnesseducation.us.
  

b65 (2.9-1.2009): real friends for-Give

 

b65 (1/10/2009): no 'neau is never not on 'neau time

no ‘neau is never not on ‘neau time [i] 

by s. pace

 

since (a) there is no such thing as a no-‘neau,
 and since (b) there’s no such thing as time
 and since (c) ‘neau time is All-Ways, Present
 
then no ‘neau could never not but be Right Here, Right Now, even if s/he appeared otherwise.
 
translation: YOU are Perfect, just as you ARE.

_______________________________

[i] martino, j. (1.10-4.2009). no 'neau is never not in 'neau time. book 65: 'neau news is Good news. © 2009 by joal martino.

b65 (1/5/2009): no-thing new

nothing New [i]
by ol d. news

every thing (re-cycled)
1 + 1 is too
it’s a Game of smoke & mirrors, No-thing:
nothing new 

______________________________

[i] martino, j. (1-5.5-2009). no-thing New. book 65: new(s). © 2009 by joal martino.

b65 (1/5/2009): "no two snowflakes"

the belief that “no two snowflakes are alike” is (obviously) a fabrication [i]
by s. now
 

1. in order to prove that “no two snowflakes are identical,” one would have to determine “criteria” from which to compare snowflakes. 

2. assuming that criteria existed, one would then need a device that was sensitive enough to measure possible snowflakes differences.  

3. measurement would have to be a process, since snowflakes “change” (size, shape, composition) during a snowflake lifetime.  in other words, the device would have to fly. 

4. the measuring device would have to be so tiny that it would not disturb the flightpath of any other snowflake.  it would have to be operated remotely. 

5. the device (or “billions upon billions of devices”) would have to measure each and every snowflake, in order to compare each to each. 

6. the device would have to measure every snowflake that falls during every snowstorm on earth.  it would also have to measure every snowflake that has ever fallen, and every snowflake that will ever fall.  in other words, the device would need to engage in time-travel. 

7. the device would have to visit every other planet in the Uni-Verse that had the slightest potential for a snowstorm. 

8. the device would have to measure every snowflake of all time, throughout its un-i-que snowflake-lifetime (e.g. during its descent), and store the data of every other snowflake, and then compare/contrast. 

note: the same could be said for fingerprints, d.n.a., and several other phenomena that are allegedly “unique.”
 
soooooo… once we buy-into the idea that “no two are identical,” we’ve probably been snowed.

__________________________ 

martino, j. (1.5-8.2009). the belief that "no two snowflakes are alike" is obviously a fabrication. book 65: ‘neau news is G∞d news.  © 2009 by joal martino

b65 (1/5/2009): old news

old news [i]
by ol d. news
 
be the first to get the worst from gossip-tv crews
spread the fun (the games, begun) while night is young:
 
old news
____________________________
[i] martino, j. (1-5.7-2009). old news. book 65: new(s).  © 2009 by joal martino

b63 (6.6-4.2008): why are we called "beings"?

why are we called “beings?” [1]
by ahuma n. being
 
why are we called “beings?”
 
why do beings “do?”
why are humans so obsessed with searching for the Truth?
why (when we are Spirit) are we so obsessed with things?
why do humans contemplate, oh,
 
why are we called “beings?”
_____________________________
 

• the “Infinite G∞d” is the All. 

• the “All” is All there Is, and All “Is” can do is Be. 

• the Is “man-i-fests” It-Self as “parts” (or part-i-cles of matter) of HE/r-Self, and these “parts” are but a re-Flection of the Whole. 

• at the level of (apparent) matter, human beings act like human doings.  this, of Course, has its pros and cons. 

• our purpose is to express the Macro, which is Be-ing.  at the micro-level, we are beings (who do). 

• do-be-do-be-do. 

…and that, my friends… is the Birth of rock n’ roll!  J 
 
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why are we called “beings?”
 
joal’s analysis & commentary (about the thoem, above)
 
why are we called “beings?”  is a thoem that gets to the very essence of who (or what) we Are.  “to be, or not to be,” that seems to be the question.  of Course, “Be-ing” can’t not but Be, so the point is mute.  a better question might be “as beings, what in Heaven’s name are we doing?”
______________________________________________________________________
 

i'd like to know your thoughts on this matter.  

comment (if you'd like), but only if you'd like something to do... 

---

[1] martino, j. (6-6.4-2008). why are we called "beings"? book 63: Free Spirit.  © 2008 www.wellnesseducation.us.      

b61 (5.2-6.2008): it seems that i have issues

it seems that i have issues [1]                                                                   
 
by i. s. sues
 
it seems that i have issues
it seems that i have mine
it seems as though my issues have withstood the test of time
it seems as though the blood runs deep (into my darkest tissues)
it seems as though i smile, although
it seems that i have issues

---

[1] martino, j. (5.2.6.2008). it seems that i have issues. book 61: Happy endings.  © 2008 by wellnesseducation.us.  

b59 (3.16.2008): dogwood

dogwood

by daryl ogwoods

snow white (in the springtime)
miracle of bloom
who could ever doubt Divine Intention in the room?
_____________________

• this is what it looks like in charlotte, nc in the springtime.

these pictures were taken in the "providence" area of charlotte.

___________________________

martino, j. (3.16-1.2008). dogwood. book 59: versa vice. copyright 2008 by joal martino.

b59 (3.6-1.2008): versa-vice

versa-vice [1]

by a. d. vice

switch-around the opposite of legible reflection
upside-down, a happy-face is mirror of dejection
inside-out, digestive system is a contradiction
paradox, a hologram of fate and chance-prediction
 
if there was a meaning to this song (that would be nice)
on the other hand, let’s make a stand for

versa-vice

________________________________
[1] martino, j. (3-6.1-2008). versa-vice. book 59: versa-vice. © 2008 by joal martino.

b59 (3.3-8.2008): blue

blue [1]

by sky waters

sea-side touches sky
ocean touches sea
something touches that in you, that touches this, in me

____________________________________________________________

[1] martino, j. (3-3.8-2008). blue. book 59: versa-vice. © 2008 by joal martino.

*photo taken (by me) on the island of st. thomas, u.s.v.i. 

b59 (3.3-3.2008): chaos & control

chaos & control [1] 
by al lowing
 
chaos & control
met out on the street
danced a bit, then ate (so great, the taste of bitter/sweet)
 
chaos & control
got along just fine
played a game of hide and seek so deep within the mind
________________________________
 

• in the midst of chaos, one can often find control… and vice-versa.

---

[1] martino, j. (3-3.3-2008). book 59: versa-vice.  © 2008 by joal martino.

 http://www.msnbc.msn.comid/23336318?GT1=10856 

b58 (2.23-3.2008): let's get physical

let’s get physical [1]
by physi c. ality
 
let’s kiss the body, gently
let’s touch the body-mind
let’s taste the scent of heaven-sent, let’s listen, let’s unwind
let’s See Beyond the scenic sunset, savor seven signs
let’s be what matters even when it shatters (every time)
________________________
 

• “getting physical” is the act of for-getting.  it happens when the actors get “caught up” in the Play.

• “for-getting” is delight-full Be-Cause it allows the One to experience the in-finite.

• “for-getting” can only exist in cooperation with For-Giving, which is the process of players, coming back to Reality and re-Cognizing that “life is but a dream.”  for-getting into fear and re-Membering Love are the back-n-forth process of Love, Loving... of the Is, Is-ing… of G∞d, G∞d-ing.

• “matter” (on the other hand) “shatters” as wIe re-Cognize that time is an illusion.

• let’s get physical.  maybe that’s why wIe are here.

 

---

 [1] martino, j. (2-23.3-2008). book 58: side effects.  © 2008 by wellnesseducation.us.
 

b58 (2.21-2.2008): clothes

clothes [1]

by cecilia l. oathing

 
they throw me in the ringer then they hang me out to dry
they put me on and dance ‘till dawn, then slip me off, with sigh
 
they color, contour, match (a little game of seek & hide)
they spend and then pretend (intend to cover what’s inside)
----------------------
they rinse/repeat this cycle ‘till they get it (i suppose)
they love, they fight, their futures (Bright), but can they open?
 
clothes


___________________________________
[1] martino, j. (2-21.2-2008). book 58: side effects.  © 2008 by joal martino..

  

b58 (2.16-1.2008): Miracle

Miracle [1]
by mi r. acle
 
you say you saw a miracle, so what does it all mean?
you saw (you think), a shift, another thing to make the scene
___________________________________________
 

• a Miracle is a shift in perspective, from ego-ic separation to Love-ing Sameness. 

• instead of seeing ourselves as different, we can See Beyond the duality to the Reality that IS. 

• in this state, one could make “abundance” out of the “limited.” 

• thank you, for allowing me to share in your Miracle.

---

[1] martino, j. (2.16-1.2008). Miracle. book 58: side effects.  © 2008 by joal martino. 

*inspired by a lot of miracle messages.

  

b80 (2.11-2.2008): introverted extrovert

introverted extrovert ^[1]
by soci o. vert

introverted extrovert, walking down the street
meeting, greeting, or retreating (everyone you meet)
loud and fun at work: “good morning!” (let me have my space)
life of party (friday), but on saturday (no way)

share the deepest love, but then run-away (recoil)
introverted extrovert, untamed free-spirit (loyal)

____________________________________

·         socio-pathic?  maybe.
·         confusing, to others?  yes.
·         misunderstood, even to self?  check.

·         what if each of us is a complex, multi-dimensional, hopeful-passionate-fearful-cautious-risky-peaceful-angry-loving liberal/conservative?

·         maybe… instead of focusing on our innate differences as “detractors,” we might be able to view each other as magical, dynamic, evolving beings with a rich, stewy past… and a future filled with infinite potentiality.

 _________________________________________

[1] martino, j. (2.11-2.18). introverted extrovert.  book 80: pronoia. © 2018 by wellnesseducation.us.

[2] inspired by brian little's ted talk, entitled "who are you, really? the puzzle of personality."

https://www.ted.com/talks/brian_little_who_are_you_really_the_puzzle_of_personality?referrer=playlist-in_celebration_of_being_alone  

b57 (1/2/2008): what are these people thinking?

what are these people thinking? [i]
by a. l[i]en
 
what are these people thinking?
they know not what they be
they think that life is co-creating work for you and me
 
they think that working overtime is that which makes them whole
they think that generating paper is the only goal
 
they all pretend to work so hard (yet some of them are winking)
they pray the mantra (“overwhelmed!”)
what are these people thinking?
_______________________
[i] martino, j. (2.2-2.2008). what are these people thinking? book 57: I’m manuel. © 2008 by joal martino. 

b54 (8.14-3.2007): my Vision of For-Give-ness [by l.p.m.]

my vision [1] 
 
by  leonard p. martineau
 
if i ever feel “wronged” by you, i will make every attempt to empathize by “putting myself in your shoes” and understanding why you may have said or done something that hurt me.  i will understand that every individual has been through difficult times, and that different people respond to life in different ways.

i will refrain from speaking about you, when you are not present (except when i am praising you).
 
i will respect any potential power differentials in our relationship, and i will refrain from using that power differential to “take advantage” of a situation.  at the same time, i will understand if you make mistakes within the power differential “dance.” we can talk it out. we can for-give.

i will refrain from digging up your past, especially past mistakes that you may or may not have made.  i’d rather focus on your beautiful present and your bright future.  

You… Are… Okay.

wIe...are okay.

(worthy of Love)

 
if conflict arises, i will make every attempt to calmly listen to your side of the situation, without “confessing your sins” to others.  i believe that we can get along in a loving manner.
 
i will make every attempt to See the Love in You, by Seeing Beyond the illusion of our dualistic differences.
 
if i get caught up in the drama of our duality, i will (as soon as i re-Cognize it) re-Member that You and i are intricately Connected as symbiotic parts of a Complete Whole. 

---

[1] martineau, l. (8.14-3.2007). my vision of For-Give-ness. book 54: do you deliver?  copyright 2025 by wellnesseducation.us.  

b53 (6.16-1.2007): celebrity news

celebrity news [1]

by c. lebrity
 
you read it in the morning
you double-click at noon
you hear it in the evening (and if not, you’ll see it soon)
 
you don’t believe, yet can’t conceive (your life is filled with blues)
you suck the dirty gossip down
you (frown)
 
celebrity news
 
(and either way, you lose)

_______________________ 

• this news (of course) is nothing new.

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[1] martino, j. (6.16-12007). celebrity news. book 53: if i only had a brain. copyright 2007 by j. martino.

b53 (6.1-2.2007): hat

hat [1]

by head g. ear

 

top it off with brim until you cover where it’s at

slip it on at break of dawn, from king to king-pawn:

 

hat

____________________________________

 

• if you can fancy that.

 

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[1] artino, joal. (6.1-2.2007). hat. book 53: if i only had a brain:  copyright 2007 by j. martino.