b75 (5.22-2.2015): the bliss of marriage

the bliss of marriage [i]
by marita l. bliss

people often imagine the bliss of marriage: together, loving each other forever, raising the perfect children, traveling together, co-ordination, co-operation, co-Union, etc.
 
but have they ever imagined the other side of the coin?
 
what if your loving partner just happens to turn pissy, or angry, or needy, or addicted?  what happens when you’ve made the legal commitment to stay in it (“till death do us part”), but you re-cognize that you don’t even like each other’s behavior?  what happens when (due to those mutual dislikes), you no longer even desire to have sex with each other, or even touch each other, or even to speak kindly to each other?  what happens then???
 
what happens then, young jedi… is this:
 
you’re f---ed (and not in a good way).
 

• now you’ve got to beg for a mediocre lifestyle,

• now you’ve got to hope for a reasonable settlement,

• now you’ve got to split things up,

• now you’ve got to rationalize the break-up by cutting-down your former lover,

• now you’ve got to explain it all… again and again, and again,

• now you’ve got to be alone: no touch, no love, no plans, no partnership, and

• now you’ve got to wonder if you ever even want to start the whole process over again, because you never, ever saw this catastrophe coming… and your loving side probably won’t see the next one coming, either. 

now you can’t leave.  now you can’t just ‘go home’.   now your partner can extend his/her period of pissy-ness (or violence, or whatever…) for hours, for days, for weeks and even for years!!! 
 
now the burden is on you to play the bad-guy role, the breaker-upper role, the failure role… unless you decide to staaaaaaaaaaaay… and live in mutual love/hate/cohabitate for the rest of your time on this planet earth. 

‘till death do us be miserable beyond all belief.

 
the bliss of marriage is a mirage.
 
if you’ve got bliss… if you click… if you love what you’ve got… then why not just keep doing what you are doing?  why change it?  why f--k it up?  why turn bliss-ness into hellacious-ess???  why regress????
 

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[i] martino , j . (5.22-2.15).  the bliss of marriage. book 75: lost & found. © 2015 by joal martino.